The "S" Word

The funny thing about my relationship with the big G-O-D is that it's ever evolving.  I learn more about who He is and who I want to be all the time.  I haven't always known Him.  In fact, I was once confused, insecure, unsure of myself and others, dishonest and disobedient.  And I'm not talking spiritually here, I'm talking about in real honest life.  I'm talking I have another thing coming if/when I ever have to deal with teenagers of my own.  It wasn't until I made my first choice to surrender (the "S" word) that I first heard Him. On the parkway, on a blanket, on a beautiful day.  My twenty year old self sat on that blanket and for the first time, heard the big G speak wisdom to my struggling heart.  If it weren't for that encounter, I wouldn't really know him. 

Webster's says this of that s-word:

sur·ren·der

verb \sə-ˈren-dər\

a: to give (oneself) up into the power of another

b: to give (oneself) over to something (as an influence)

 

Here's the thing (and maybe this is where you're at today):  Transition is hard.  It's not a natural thing to trust everything you have to a God who everyone talks about but you can't see.  It's not easy to give your life over on the hope that what you feel is true actually IS true.  Faith can be such a transient concept in these little lives of ours.  I want to tell you that s-wording your life to let the big G do what he wants to do is harder than hard, even for the most serious and devoted of believers. BUT, I also want to encourage you by saying that s-wording your life over to the all-knowing God enables His purpose to become yours.  It's ultimately fulfilling.  This morning, as my co-workers and I were singing "I Surrender All," I was just hit with this overwhelming peace.  I realized that real true yielding to the holy spirit is easy.  It's you trusting that this life isn't about just you and committing to following your convictions.  It really is "all to Jesus, I surrender (yield), all to Him I FREELY give (on my own volition).  I will ever love and trust Him, in his presence, daily live."

 

Those are some powerful thoughts, ya'll!  I surrender ALL - my fear, my control, my decisions, my safety, my health.  I surrender them all, not because God doesn't want me to enjoy life, but because He's the only one who can direct me to the most abundant life.  I surrender all because His power directs my purpose.  I surrender all because His influence empowers my dreams. 

 

My last post was on normal being boring.  And it definitely is.  I have spent my entire life up until this point not wanting to stick out.  Why do we think that way?  The beautiful thing about life is that we're all different.  My desires and dreams should never be shaped by what others think about them.  Surrendering is beautiful because once we recognize that we're at the mercy of a master's hand, we also realize that our lives are headed in different directions.  All on purpose.  He made us to stand out.  That's how we stay entertained.  If we can learn how to love people through their decisions and really learn how to support their dreams, we'll all be building the Kingdom on earth together.  First, we have to be ok with yielding and letting the creator do what he does best, create.

Redefining Normal

If you're anything like me, you enjoy stability.  I enjoy having a quasi-plan.  I enjoy some level of routine.  Somewhere along the line, I convinced myself that having a "normal" life was in my best interest.  I wanted to live a life where I could do something I liked, provide for myself and occasionally partake in adventures that satisfied my desire to step outside of my comfort zone.  How boring!  Thankfully, one Friday morning last August, Jesus got my attention and told me to redefine my normal. 

I'm reminded of the song "Oceans" by Hillsong.  The first line is - "You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown where feet may fail."  You want to know what is so cool about redefining my normal and walking into the great unknown?  The way God always comes through.  If my feet start failing, it doesn't matter because I'm not in charge of my destiny anyway.  What good is dreaming if we have constant control over every outcome?  I'm giving up all of my security to be vulnerable before a God who always shows up.  Really, it's a win-win for me.  I'm pursuing my dreams, and guys I have NO CLUE what to expect, but I do know that God will show up and lead me.  He's not a wishy-washy, unrelatable God.  He's real!  He's relational!  He knows that I'm scared.   Part of redefining my normal has been learning how to let fear motivate me rather than hold me back.   

 

Let me let you in on a little secret about me -- public speaking terrifies me.  I mean honestly, my emotional reaction prior to speaking is a little excessive.  My heart and mind are always racing a thousand miles a second.  Ironically, everyone who has ever heard me speak in public always tells me how calmly I execute my message.  In my (required) public speaking class in college, my professor told me that I was one of the strongest public speakers he'd ever encountered.  UM, what?!  Come again?? 

The reactions never meet the expectations I've set for myself.  They're way better.  And that's how I know God is in this thing.  His outcome is always exceedingly better.  But first, we have to loosen our grip on our own mediocre expectations and just be obedient.

I made a decision last August to stop living "normally" and to go after my dreams.  No one is going to change my life for me, but me.  I have been completely blown away by God's faithfulness and steadiness over the last 10 months.  He just keeps showing up, working things out and giving me ZERO chance to back out. 

So, here I am, just redefining normal.  Actually, I don't know that I ever really want to have a new "normal."  I kind of just want to let go and see where the Lord leads.  Honestly, it's been so exciting and I cannot wait to see what happens as time progresses. 

God is for you!  He believes in and supports your dreams, and he loves that you're dreaming.  Keep dreaming and don't be afraid to sacrifice your normal to see Him show up. 

Upcoming Transition

My thoughts these days have been mostly consumed by transition.  I keep thinking about what life will be like!  It's exciting and overwhelming.  Here are some of my thoughts on my upcoming transition:

These have been seven years of growth.  Of maturity.  Of trial and error.  Of trial and success.  Of finding myself.  Of finding Jesus.  Of knowing love.  Of education.  These seven years have been the biggest stretch with the most reward.  Boone for me was (and is) a place of discovery.  I will forever be grateful for the place where I found myself and love found me.  In eight weeks, I'll pack up the rest of my stuff, thank all of my friends and take my discovered self to a place where I can start living out my dreams. 

The past few months have been full of advice.  Don't get me wrong, I love advice.  And in most cases, I asked for it.  I've received encouragement, love, hesitation and warnings - all about what life will be like when I leave.  I'm taking those things to heart but so trusting that what I'm investing in is the chance of a lifetime.  It's not an easy thing.  Giving up a perfectly good job with perfectly good benefits to become nomadic is taking every single bit of faith I have.  Staying focused on the purpose and reminding myself every single day that my dreams are not crazy takes a lot of effort.   Convincing myself that I can still succeed in school after being a few years removed takes daily reminders.  I'm just rooting myself in the belief that it's going to be worth it.  Out of this transition, I'm believing for more wisdom, more influence, more knowledge, more experience and most importantly, I'm believing for more dreams.

You cannot achieve what you want by refusing to risk what you have.  If you save $500 and hide it under your mattress, it can never be $1000.  My pastor has always said "what you have right now will always be the least it can be while it's in your hands."  I'm taking that mantra about money and making it about my life.  I'm investing everything I have into my future and praying the outcome allows me to live out my dream of impacting people in the name of Jesus.

I am taking seven years of discovery to the streets.  This is where knowledge becomes practice.  This is where investment becomes practical.  This is where behind the scenes becomes starring role.  This is just the reality of me, 25 year old me.  I'm figuring out happiness.  I'm figuring out contentment.  I'm figuring out life.  I'm taking what I know, putting it into practice and hoping that practice refines me, teaches me and grows me even more.

I can't help but be excited because I believe with my whole heart that the best is yet to come.




Dad's farm :)