Monday, June 18, 2012

summer days.

so, lots going on in LJB world these days....mostly preparing for my trip to Ecuador through paying more attention to the call of the Lord as well as spending time investing in people and gleaning from their wisdom.  Here are a few prayer requests:
  • pray for unity to stay among our team.  these people are awesome and i mean capital A awesome. 
  • pray against fear and anxiety that could arise at any point. we believe that we were created to be at peace.  so we will be.
  • pray for our team leaders, Vanessa and Kate.  what a great job (as in monumental) they have of leading the team from summit.  pray for wisdom and patience and joy and all things GOOD!
  • pray for our travel time, including our half-day training session in Miami.
here's my team so you can know who you're praying for:


back row (L to R):  Kate Odgers, me, Martha, Seth, Houston
front row (L to R):  Vanessa, Ciara, Kim, Kate Houston

I've been spending a lot of time at home this summer it seems.  My sweet mom needs lots of company and support so I've been going home and enjoying really super extra hot Greensboro lately.  I also dog sat for mom's dog for 2 weeks so we had some Boone adventures together.  I realized that at this point in my life I'm not ready for a dog, and that he's not a Boonie. 

you may have noticed my obsession with photographing this exact moment in my drive home.

goofball roadtrip with the most interesting dog friend.
Also, you may remember yesterday was a day dedicated to all the super-stellar awesome incredible friends and leaders we call dad.  I am honored to have one of the best.  He knows me well.  He knows everything that I don't know (which is A LOT).  He knows how to fix things and he always gives level-headed advice.  He's also great at being hilarious.  Thanks for being a super dad.  Love you pops.


excited for a beautiful rest of the summer! 

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

be all there.

If you know me, you know my addiction to my phone.  Let's just be real -- I am constantly distracted from where I am, who I'm with, what I'm doing, driving, being in the moment and most importantly, Jesus because I am paying attention to emails from work, personal emails, facebook, twitter, instagram, text messaging and a vast amount of other things.  Now, don't get me wrong...I'm thankful that my iPhone keeps me in constant contact with things I'm responsible for and friends that I care about.  I am blessed that I have been given responsibilities and am able to stay connected -- there are lots of people who aren't that blessed.  BUT, I believe I'm taking time for granted.

This morning I was really praying about how I can best prepare for Ecuador and really engage in my 22 day challenge to seek Jesus seriously every day.  It's been great so far (today is day 5 by the way).  It's been relatively easy to wake up super early and start my day by really seeking the Lord, but like I mentioned before...there's more.  Today I thought (or maybe Jesus told me) that I could take a media fast.  If you're not familiar, it's a fast where you sacrifice media for the sake of seeking Jesus.  Instead of watching TV, being online, etc., you go to the Lord.  I thought it was an awesome idea, but would only work if I was super serious about it. 

Today, actually as of about 9am this morning, I deleted all apps off of my phone (and this is a big thing for me, guys -- actually if you're reading this you probably already know that) that distract me from being engaged fully with my life and with Jesus.  So, goodbye to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram (yikes -- that one was hard), my personal and work email and all iPhone games and unnecessary accessories.  I'm going to use my phone to call and text only.  When I'm somewhere, I want to be all there.  I want to be engaged.  I want to be invested and investing in people. I want to be with the Lord.  So, instead of picking up my iPhone, I'm now going to be where I am.  I have a computer, I can check those things intermittently at home. 

I'm committing to being a hard worker at the office, because the Lord requires that of me anyway, not focusing on my phone for a good portion of the day too.  I'm committing to be a good friend -- to really listening to people and hearing them when they talk, not sitting at dinner and being otherwise engaged.  If I listen, I can encourage.  I'm committing to having a quiet time that's REALLY quiet, not grabbing my phone to tweet a really encouraging verse that I read.  I'm committing to interceding for people, and I've got to pay attention if I want to do that.  This is a fast to challenge myself to really pay attention, and to really refine my skill of listening, both spiritually to the Lord and naturally to the incredible people that I'm surrounded by. 

18 days until Ecuador is 18 days to really focus on my purpose.  Please comment and let me know how I can be praying for YOU, I've asked for a lot of prayer myself and would love to return the favor.  I want to spend the next 18 days practicing being in the presence of the Lord and the presence of people.  Twice in the last week or so, my pastor has said "don't let Ecuador be your testing ground, let it be your proving ground."  There's an explanation for all the challenging and accountability I'm putting on myself, but even if he hadn't said that to me, this is still good for me. 

See you never, overly engaged with my iPhone and social media life!  I'm actually really excited about it!



 

Monday, June 11, 2012

Expectancy of Olympic proportions.

Expectancy.  The feeling of sheer joy mixed with slight anxiety mixed with curiosity about the unknown mixed with that "can't sleep it's almost Christmas morning" feeling.  Yes at 24 I still get that feeling on Christmas Eve.  It's like Christmas Eve for me today (and for the next 18 days I imagine).  I'm not sure why it's just now hitting me, but I have just hit the off the charts expectancy for Ecuador!  Special shout out to my mom and aunt who are so graciously hosting and shuttling our team on the night before/morning of our trip (at 3am...serious troopers)!  What a blessing you both are (since I know you'll see this) :)

See the thing about expectancy is that I believe that the Lord gives you excitement and then as you mature, your excitement shifts into expectancy.  Expectancy means that while you are excited to go and do and be the hands and feet, you also realize that this thing is SO much bigger than yourself or your own personal contributions.  You realize that in order for the Kingdom to win you have to invest in your team, you have to believe the best, your words and your actions have to reflect kingdom grace and love and you have to be confident that YOU are the one who was called.  YOU are the few.  YOU are the catalyst for the encounter. 

I think back to high school chemistry class, where I learned about what a catalyst was.  A catalyst is something that quickly starts the process of a reaction.  You have to have the catalyst in order for the reaction to happen as it's supposed to.  So, bringing it full circle -- we know that we've been called to Ecuador to spread the love of Jesus.  The reaction that we expect is that lives are going to be impacted and changed, bodies and hearts and minds are going to be healed, people are going to be released from all of the binding forces that have held them hostage for so long and miracles are going to take place.  BUT, we also now know that we are the catalyst -- by faith we have to start the move of God there and then the reaction will ensue.  When you catch on to that revelation, it triggers expectancy! 

In fact, I don't even want to sit in my chair right now.  I want to jump up and praise the Lord and pray for the next 18 days straight.  I want to prepare myself to start this thing.  I want to train myself to be confident and bold with the word of God.  There are so many things I want to do before we go.  I do have to work for the next 18 days, though, so I will trust that the Lord is refining me, even now as I sit in this office and send medical volunteers around the world.  Okay, okay...maybe I've been a little too wrapped up in the Olympic prelims.  All I want to do is be that person who trains and trains and trains to run a 3 minute and 44 second mile and the actually see it happen...except with my spirit, of course, because we all KNOW I would die before I could run even half a mile in 3 minutes.

You know, while we're in Olympics mode, let's talk about unity.  I can absolutely 100% guarantee that there has never been a team in Olympic history (we're talking the best of the best x1000, friends) that has ever won any kind of honor or medal while being divided.  They are always unified, always encouraging one another, always supporting one another, never jealous of each other and always together, all of the time.  There isn't ever even a hint of division on those teams.  Want to know why?  Because there's no room for it.  Division, even in the smallest way, splits the team and it cannot function.  Non-functioning teams can never win.  Non-winning teams do not make it to the Olympics.  Do you follow me? 

I thought it only appropriate to tie all this together given my team's upcoming adventure to Ecuador.  We might not run 3 minute miles, but we are a unified team.  We work.  We fit.  And we are excited.  Please continue to pray as we get closer and closer to this adventure! 

Here's a video example of one of our skits.  This is not our team, but we will be doing this same thing in Ecuador.  Even though there's a barrier between languages, dramas still have a powerful impact on people of all nations.  No words, but still the power of Jesus is very evident.  Enjoy :)

Friday, June 8, 2012

there's more.

5:30am.  The alarm on my iPhone rings and I'm annoyed, I set it early in order to snooze anyway.  My anticipated 10 minute snooze turns into 45 minutes and I'm up and in the shower.  The dog needs to go out and be fed and the laundry on my floor reminds me that my options for clothing myself are dwindling.  The dishes in the dishwasher are clean as is made evident by the dirty ones in the sink.  I think about the least amount of minutes it can take me to get ready so that I can spend the most amount of minutes possible completing tasks.  If only I would have snoozed for just ten minutes...nevermind, no changing that now.  A thousand thoughts fly through my head -- of yesterday, of my mom, of bills, of work, of friends and of my intent to make spending time with Jesus a habit, not a convenience. 

I question myself and wonder why.  Why all the extra thoughts?  Why the distractions of chores and tasks?  Why not just dive right in to the habit of Jesus and let him guide my every thought and word?  Why am I so obsessed with humanity that I always default to doing it on my own?  If all my thinking was chanelled into doing, I'd be fully reliant on Holy Spirit to be my guide and way less stressed.  When I look outside I see the sun coming up over the mountain and yet again, I'm amazed.  Amazed at creation and its beauty.  Then I step on my back porch into the 50 degree June morning and I look.  There's more.  There IS more.  I'm not what I tell myself that I am.  I was created to praise and the action is appropriate for me.

I'm ready, at least ready enough.   The Lord has been waiting on me for at least 1 hour, so I step outside.  Today, a walk to pray.  "Father thank you for today" -- it seems generic.  There go my thoughts.  "Father thank you for today.  I pray that as I go through this day that you've already designed that I honor you and encourage others."  My thoughts catch my mind and I'm distracted again.  I think of my mom, two hours away in a dumb hospital room.  My eyes fill with tears.  I don't talk about how much her sickness really has affected me, but Jesus knows so tears are ok.  I just want to take her home.  I know that in one hour when I arrive at work, I'll be asked about her 15 times, might as well get the emotion out of the way right now so I can give the easy answer.  I think of the Ecuador team.  I'm convicted because I feel as though I should be preparing in some more significant way than I am.  I pray for maturity and that the Lord would bless my other teammates.  I think of Monday night.  I'm overwhelmed again.  I reign in my thoughts and keep praying.  It will be ok, I know it will. 

I think of all the times I've done and said what I shouldn't have.  I think of how I could have been a better friend.  Jesus reminds me of when I was a good friend.  I smile.  He's sweet and always knows how to turn the page.  I decide to focus on the more.  The more to Jesus.  I make myself a 22 day challege right there in my neighborhood.  22 days till Ecuador, 21 days to form a habit, the perfect amount of time to Journal daily about how I'm learning more and more about the Lord.  I commit silently to him to make the Word a habit.  I know I will do it. 

It's time to go and the dog starts whining. He always does.  I hate to leave him, but I walk out.  I get to the office at 8:03.  Typical.  I think of how that needs to change, seriously.  It doesn't matter to everyone else, but it really matters to me that I'm obedient and punctual.  I look at my to-do list.  I'm thankful for this job.  I know I will learn a lot today because I learn a lot everyday here.  I wonder how long I'll be here.  I focus back on Jesus.  All is well.  There is more and I'm finding the more.

A friend walks to my desk -- "How's your mom?" they say.  "She's great," I say, "Getting better daily."  It's the truth, and the easy answer.  I think of today and I know that it's going to be great.

 

Sunday, June 3, 2012

appropriate & becoming

I've been a negligent blogger these days and I'm sorry!  No excuses -- I'm just sorry.  BUT, here I am :)

Wow, what a few weeks it has been.  Our Ecuador team has been preparing hardcore with a yard sale and a coffee fundraiser and weekly meetings and drama practices to go and love on Ecuador.  27 days from today we will be leaving to impact lives and be impacted.  A few weeks ago, my friend Joy was wearing this shirt that said "I need Africa more than Africa needs me."  I have been really feeling and believing lately that yes, we are called to go and pray for and impact a nation and lead them to the feet of Jesus where they can find forgiveness, love and everything that they need, but we also NEED to go there to be impacted, to strengthen our faith (this is a big one), to experience the love and joy and freedom that is available in Ecuador and to see the Lord move as only he can while we are in Ecuador.

So that being said, here are a few Team Ecuador prayer requests:

  • pray that every dollar will be raised, we still are slightly short as a team.
  • pray for our hearts to be open and for us to be committed to doing and saying what the Lord wants us to.
  • pray that we begin to love each other even more than we do now.
  • pray against offense and frustration in ANY area or arena pertaining to the trip.
  • pray for traveling safety and health.  especially healthy stomachs.  seriously.
  • pray for fear to subside in every area that it is trying to manifest.  we are anxious for nothing.
  • pray for us to yield 100% to the holy spirit and that we would be vessels committed to transformation in ourselves and in others.
I'm excited because TODAY I get to go back to Boone -- seriously my heart is in that place.  I've been home for 5 days with my mom who is seriously sick (please throw up a prayer for her if you're reading this).  You don't really realize how much you depend on someone's health until they are literally disabled...also, hospitals are no fun.  BUT every day we are seeing improvements over the last day, I just talked to her on the phone and she's actually starting to sound more like my normal mom, so that is a blessing.  Mom has surgery Tuesday morning (we think), so just pray for it to be the least invasive it can possibly be and for the doctor's to have wisdom and precision that surpasses their own.  I'm going home (to Boone) for (hopefully) a week to work and coming down again next weekend I believe to get her discharged and HOME!!!  Yay!

In this time I've really recognized that Godly strength is key to maintaining faith and resisting fear.  I hate that it had to be an issue with a person so connected to my heart, but I'm thankful that I serve a God who loves, a God who heals, a God who has a plan in place already and a God who has every resource available.  What a MIGHTY God we serve!  

Yesterday I was reading and in Psalm 33 I found a verse that talked about praise being appropriate and becoming for those with hearts in right standing with God.  Oh for my praise to be the most becoming thing about me, that is my life's goal.

Looking forward to a great week filled with grace and love and Jesus :)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Just an update.

Hi there :)  I've been so blessed in the last little bit of my life and it's been incredible.  Today I just want to share from a grateful heart of all my blessings and encounters that have shaped me into the person that I am today. 

Today is day 5 on my new job.  Every single day has been a challenge for sure but each day has also seriously been the biggest blessing.   I am working with people with hearts to touch those in desperate need in Haiti and it has been so incredible to see how much my volunteers sacrifice to touch those in need.  I just got off the phone with a volunteer in Canada and she was talking about how blessed she had been by SP and I responded "I'm truly the blessed one because I'm coordinating for the BEST volunteers in the world."  It's true...my volunteers are the best, most generous, most gracious and most humble volunteers in the world.  I appreciate them and appreciate every single step in the journey that has led me to this desk at this minute with this calling and assignment. 

The Lord doesn't do anything on accident.  I always say that when I graduated and started with SP that I landed my dream job right off the bat and that was true.  That season came to an end and I had to move into another job, but to think that a year later I'd be right back where I started, living the dream literally and excited to go to work everyday is the most undeserved privelege.

Moving on from job land (because I could talk about it all day, but won't bore you), we had our first team Ecuador meeting on Sunday night.  This team is unreal ya'll...I don't know how the Lord even found all these perfect team members to come together as one and love Ecuador.  We are in the process of learning some dramas and skits (hilarious) and just bonding together and enjoying each other as we grow together!  Just 38 short days until we fly out for Quito -- CRAZY!  and so exciting :)

Today a co-worker approached me to talk about division in our office.  Let me preface this by saying that this is the last person I would have ever expected to confront the issue of division head on, but she did and I was so honored that the Lord let me speak to her about the importance of moving forward in love and continuing the believe the best.  I have to admit that I was a little caught off guard because the particular experience she chose to talk about was a little bit of a hard subject because I had to answer on someone else's behalf, and that is NEVER easy.  It really challenged me to encourage myself about believing that at the core of people is the innate desire to be good, to lift others up and to show love through relationship.  I'm very thankful to be in a broken and divided office beacuse it means that through love we can start to mend relationships here.  Historically there's been a lot of gossip and other unecessary dividers going on here, but I'm excited that as we move forward together, we get to see the real Jesus stand up in here and change lives.  That is such an honor to be a part of!

I realize that this blog has just been an update on life and a few cool Jesus things, but thanks for reading :)  Praying you are filled with the most joy today as you begin to see the Lord move in your life!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

thoughts on investment.

Before you read the title and think I'm blogging about money, let me just dismantle that thought...I am not talking about money.  Relax, read on :)

Today is a new day!  You know, when I really started being serious about Jesus somwhere mid-college and pursuing after a life that modeled his, I ran into this revelation of seasons.  That for every time there is a season and for every season there is a purpose.  I had never really thought of my life before as divided into seasons...well, aside from the normal Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter (haha).  The more I mature and develop, both naturally and spiritually, I recognize the importance of unhindered investment during seasons.

I think of all the opportunities that I've been presented with in my life and always remember the significant people who intentionally invested in me in order to see my success in that particular season.  AND I am overwhelmed with gratitude.  I think of how those investors taught me what I know and gave me what I have and spoke to my potential and believed in me constantly.  I think of how my investors refused to see me dwell on my failures and rejoiced when I succeeded.  I think of how they encouraged me constantly and lovingly rebuked me when I needed correction.  I realize that I am where I am today sitting at the desk I am right this second because of intentional investment.  I realize that it's time for me to invest.

In my last blog I talked about goodbyes always being such a hard and emotional thing for me.  Call me sensitive or whatever you want to call me, but they are.  Yesterday, I said goodbye to the sweetest season of growth and professional development and to a faithful friend.  Today, I stepped into a world of really growing up and taking on challenges by myself that one year, six months, three weeks ago I never would have said I could handle.  I think I figured out the overwhelming challenge in goodbyes for me is that I view my relationships as intentional investment.  If I'm your friend, I want to do all that I can to prove to you that I'm a good friend...but I've been doing it the wrong way.  I've been seeking the approval of others instead of relaxing, trusting, abiding in the Jesus who taught about seasons and investment.  I've been investing my emotions and not my life. 

So here I am, new job, new day, new view on investment.  Today, I'm deciding to overhaul my view of investment.  To put my actions where my emotions and words are.  To be an investor in others so that they can experience the blessings they deserve to experience.  In this new season, I choose to value the sweetness of those who have poured themselves into me and I choose to take that encouragement and pour it onto others.  I'm valuing what it means to see the incredible sweetness of Jesus and of the God who loves us in everyday life and tasks.  I'm redefining "everyday" and not looking at the monotony and challenge but looking at the blessing and goodness in every purposed season and step. 

Here's some great assurance from my QT this morning:  "I couldn't be more sure of my ground -- the one I've trusted in can take care of what he's trusted me to do right to the end."  2 Timothy 1:12

I hope you're encouraged by that.  I hope you're encouraged today that you are where you are because God has intentionally placed people to invest in you and get you there.  Keep guarding that good deposit that's been made in you so that you can deposit and invest in others.  Happy Thursday :)

"Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you -- guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us."  2 Timothy 1:14