louder than a lion

Woke up this morning to an unexpected day off...I'll take it!  My car's been needing some work for a long time so I chose to use this day off to take care of my little orange bolt!  Which, for me, means sitting for a very long time in the AAA customer lounge.  As I was sitting here, I just started thinking about the topic of courage.

You might probably guess that I was thinking Biblical courage.  I'm going to have to be honest and tell you that, no, my thoughts on courage today are actually brought to you by Katy Perry.  Let me start from the beginning...

A few months ago I really just thought of Katy Perry as another teen pop star who would probably wear out after a couple of years.  Then a friend of mine suggested I watch her documentary because it would really make me appreciate her more.  My thoughts about that suggestion were "she kissed a girl and she liked it" and she's "hot or she's cold", what else could there be?  Since I had nothing better to do, I actually watched the documentary...and it really did change my perspective on dear Katy (and I also cried...hard). 

The overarching theme throughout this entire documentary was courage.  Katy's life was a life marked by courage (go watch the documentary yourself, you'll see).  It reminded me of this simple truth: I, too, want to live a life that is marked by courage.  

So what classifies a life marked by courage?  Is courage just simple bravery?  Is it standing up for what's right in the face of adversity?  Is it taking risks in the sheer belief that the outcome is worth it?  In my reflection on what it means to be courageous, I've come up with this:  Courage is believing that life is meant to be fulfilling.  It's looking fear in the eye and telling it "no way, you have no place here."  It's being confident in what your calling is and also being willing to follow hard after your calling.  It's knowing that sometimes you're going to have to travel off the path and think outside the box to achieve your dreams.  The life marked by courage is a life lived in ambition, determination, generosity and love.  

When I say I want to live a life marked by courage, I want people to look at me and think all those things.  And even if others don't yet recognize it, I want to live in the confidence that I am following hard after a strong and courageous life.  

Life in abundance as I said yesterday is forsaking normal.  Today I am adding in that life in abundance is life marked by courage.  

Today I'm taking some motivation from Katy Perry:

I've got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire

Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR

Louder, louder than a lion

Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR.

Let the world hear you ROAR today and live the life marked by courage!

the realities of a new adventure

I grew up in Greensboro.  Went to high school here, loved this city before and enjoyed coming home for breaks during college.  Moving back for this new life adventure has been an adjustment to say the least.  It's almost like I don't really have any of the same connections as I did before and my experiences have been very different.  So, this last month has been a lot of learning and trying new things and meeting new people and going new places all in hopes that soon I will establish community and routine here.  Here are some of the things I have learned over the last month:

1.  Graduate school is a whole different beast than undergrad.

Arriving at Appalachian as an 18 year old baby undergrad student was overwhelming, I'm sure.  I don't really remember how or why but I know that I developed a lot of friendships quickly.  They throw you into a dorm and you are forced to be with people you don't know until you know them.  Class work is challenging but very doable and cramming, in some instances, works.  Grad school is the complete opposite of all of those things.  I just drive to campus when I have classes and work so building relationships with people in my program has been a little slow.  There is so much reading and work that if I get 3/4 of it done in a timely manner I am really happy.  And cramming?  There are no tests!  Only research paper after research paper.  If you aren't prepared, it's on you.  100%.  There are no excuses, only preparedness.  After all, I am here to become a MASTER at something.  You don't become a master at something by only completing the process halfway. 

2.  Leaving a place you call home, even if you feel ready, is really, REALLY hard.

I've seen the effects of this more as time has gone on.  Every single day I miss Boone and friends and my church and normalcy and all things from that home.  BUT, I am blessed to be here and don't want this to come across as me being ungrateful.  I fully realize that I am here for a reason...I am still discovering that reason.  Missing people in the process has been really challenging but processes take time.  Familiarity takes time.

3.  Living with your parents in your mid-twenties can be a big blessing.

I know what you're thinking...NO WAY, not me!  I thought that too.  Until I actually moved back home.  Living at home is the single biggest blessing in this season.  It has reduced my financial burden tremendously and given me an opportunity to repair relationships that were really broken.  This situation has been a constant reminder that Jesus is FULLY at work in this transition.

4.  God is faithful to provide for us, even down to the smallest detail.

Guys, I prayed when I was just considering grad school to be able to do it completely debt free.  Not only has that happened, but I actually received a refund off of my scholarship.  A few friends said, wow that is unheard of!  I maintain that it's not unheard of because I asked God for it and he faithfully provided every single thing I needed and even more in abundance.

5.  Forsaking normalcy leads to abundant life.

My normal life even just a month ago was pretty great.  It was comfortable and familiar and full of a lot of love.  I was spiritually challenged and encouraged on the regular.   But I will tell you, in reality, as soon as I gave up what was normal and took a step in obedience, I began to see what it was like to live above normal and in abundance.  Every single person on earth has a calling.  Seeking after your calling and achieving your dreams along the way is the definition of the abundant life.  Abundant life means taking risks, sometimes not knowing what is around the corner, and putting EVERYTHING aside for the sake of what you are going after.  It is not easy, but it is a real blessing.

Finally, I found a great church here and have been attending their "get to know you" classes if you will.  This week, the lady leading said something that really reminded me why I am here.  She said:

Everything outside of hell is grace.

What a relevant reminder!  These days might not be the easiest of my life, but they are chocked full of the grace of Jesus.  And I would not rather reside anywhere else but in the grace that saved me.  

I am thankful to be here where every day is an opportunity to learn something new.  Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement.  Love to you all!

Transforming Fear

What would life be like if fear was a foreign concept?  If we had no reservations when going after our dreams?  If we loved people the way they deserved to be loved?  If we invested everything we had into a vision?  If we did what makes us happy regardless of what it might cost us? 

If you're thinking "wow, those are great propositions but highly irresponsible!", allow me to challenge your thinking a little bit.  This isn't a blog post about extreme living and forsaking all responsibility in order to live a fun life.  This is a blog post about chaneling our fear and using it to our advantage.  It's about going after what we've always dreamed of and stopping the wait that often lasts a lifetime.  It's about making possible what seems impossible.  It's about living life to the fullest so that when you lay down at night, you feel fulfilled.  The concept seems edgy, but it's not, it's just foreign to us.  Doing what fulfills us seems irresponsible and rash, but it's really just an underutilized concept.

When I was younger I was terrified of storms.  I mean any storm, in any capacity had me in tears and incredibly anxious.  I remember my parents used to tell me it was completely fine, that the storm was only temporary, but I was still scared.  The anxiety wouldn't quit.  I vividly remember being at softball practice one day (I think I was in 8th grade).  My dad was there sitting on the bleachers as he often and faithfully was.  It was beautifully sunny and super hot.  Practice was only about halfway over when clouds started rolling in and thunder started rumbling way in the distance.  I had conditioned myself to assume the worst and at that moment, the fear started gripping me.  My heart started racing and my breathing became labored.  I ran over to the fence and motioned for my dad to come talk to me.  I burst into tears and begged him to let me leave practice because of the impending storm.  He then said words that forever changed my life:  "Laura, this storm does not control you.  Practice isn't over until your coach calls it.  You will practice through your tears and fear and you will be fine."  From that moment, the fear of storms stopped tormenting me.  My dad forced me to face fear head on and walk it out.  And I am forever grateful.  Plus can you imagine a 25 year old deathly afraid of some thunder and lightening?! :)

My point is this - we have to learn to face our fears and live with boldness if we want to live the abundant life.  No matter where you stand religiously, philosophically or morally, this is a concept that transcends all differences in belief systems. This is a concept that has the potential to wreck our lives for the better.  It has the power to turn our normal lives upside down.  It's a concept that will teach you the truth - in life, YOU WIN.  Everyone wins when people start succeeding at living happily.

Courage is the motivation that grants us victory over our fears.  Fear never had a place anyway, we were created to live a courageous life.  Even if you have white knuckles, shaking hands and an unsure voice, I challenge you today to go after your dreams with all belief in yourself.  The world is waiting for you to transform it.  Life counts the most when we hold on tight and press on anyway!

The "S" Word

The funny thing about my relationship with the big G-O-D is that it's ever evolving.  I learn more about who He is and who I want to be all the time.  I haven't always known Him.  In fact, I was once confused, insecure, unsure of myself and others, dishonest and disobedient.  And I'm not talking spiritually here, I'm talking about in real honest life.  I'm talking I have another thing coming if/when I ever have to deal with teenagers of my own.  It wasn't until I made my first choice to surrender (the "S" word) that I first heard Him. On the parkway, on a blanket, on a beautiful day.  My twenty year old self sat on that blanket and for the first time, heard the big G speak wisdom to my struggling heart.  If it weren't for that encounter, I wouldn't really know him. 

Webster's says this of that s-word:

sur·ren·der

verb \sə-ˈren-dər\

a: to give (oneself) up into the power of another

b: to give (oneself) over to something (as an influence)

 

Here's the thing (and maybe this is where you're at today):  Transition is hard.  It's not a natural thing to trust everything you have to a God who everyone talks about but you can't see.  It's not easy to give your life over on the hope that what you feel is true actually IS true.  Faith can be such a transient concept in these little lives of ours.  I want to tell you that s-wording your life to let the big G do what he wants to do is harder than hard, even for the most serious and devoted of believers. BUT, I also want to encourage you by saying that s-wording your life over to the all-knowing God enables His purpose to become yours.  It's ultimately fulfilling.  This morning, as my co-workers and I were singing "I Surrender All," I was just hit with this overwhelming peace.  I realized that real true yielding to the holy spirit is easy.  It's you trusting that this life isn't about just you and committing to following your convictions.  It really is "all to Jesus, I surrender (yield), all to Him I FREELY give (on my own volition).  I will ever love and trust Him, in his presence, daily live."

 

Those are some powerful thoughts, ya'll!  I surrender ALL - my fear, my control, my decisions, my safety, my health.  I surrender them all, not because God doesn't want me to enjoy life, but because He's the only one who can direct me to the most abundant life.  I surrender all because His power directs my purpose.  I surrender all because His influence empowers my dreams. 

 

My last post was on normal being boring.  And it definitely is.  I have spent my entire life up until this point not wanting to stick out.  Why do we think that way?  The beautiful thing about life is that we're all different.  My desires and dreams should never be shaped by what others think about them.  Surrendering is beautiful because once we recognize that we're at the mercy of a master's hand, we also realize that our lives are headed in different directions.  All on purpose.  He made us to stand out.  That's how we stay entertained.  If we can learn how to love people through their decisions and really learn how to support their dreams, we'll all be building the Kingdom on earth together.  First, we have to be ok with yielding and letting the creator do what he does best, create.

Redefining Normal

If you're anything like me, you enjoy stability.  I enjoy having a quasi-plan.  I enjoy some level of routine.  Somewhere along the line, I convinced myself that having a "normal" life was in my best interest.  I wanted to live a life where I could do something I liked, provide for myself and occasionally partake in adventures that satisfied my desire to step outside of my comfort zone.  How boring!  Thankfully, one Friday morning last August, Jesus got my attention and told me to redefine my normal. 

I'm reminded of the song "Oceans" by Hillsong.  The first line is - "You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown where feet may fail."  You want to know what is so cool about redefining my normal and walking into the great unknown?  The way God always comes through.  If my feet start failing, it doesn't matter because I'm not in charge of my destiny anyway.  What good is dreaming if we have constant control over every outcome?  I'm giving up all of my security to be vulnerable before a God who always shows up.  Really, it's a win-win for me.  I'm pursuing my dreams, and guys I have NO CLUE what to expect, but I do know that God will show up and lead me.  He's not a wishy-washy, unrelatable God.  He's real!  He's relational!  He knows that I'm scared.   Part of redefining my normal has been learning how to let fear motivate me rather than hold me back.   

 

Let me let you in on a little secret about me -- public speaking terrifies me.  I mean honestly, my emotional reaction prior to speaking is a little excessive.  My heart and mind are always racing a thousand miles a second.  Ironically, everyone who has ever heard me speak in public always tells me how calmly I execute my message.  In my (required) public speaking class in college, my professor told me that I was one of the strongest public speakers he'd ever encountered.  UM, what?!  Come again?? 

The reactions never meet the expectations I've set for myself.  They're way better.  And that's how I know God is in this thing.  His outcome is always exceedingly better.  But first, we have to loosen our grip on our own mediocre expectations and just be obedient.

I made a decision last August to stop living "normally" and to go after my dreams.  No one is going to change my life for me, but me.  I have been completely blown away by God's faithfulness and steadiness over the last 10 months.  He just keeps showing up, working things out and giving me ZERO chance to back out. 

So, here I am, just redefining normal.  Actually, I don't know that I ever really want to have a new "normal."  I kind of just want to let go and see where the Lord leads.  Honestly, it's been so exciting and I cannot wait to see what happens as time progresses. 

God is for you!  He believes in and supports your dreams, and he loves that you're dreaming.  Keep dreaming and don't be afraid to sacrifice your normal to see Him show up. 

Upcoming Transition

My thoughts these days have been mostly consumed by transition.  I keep thinking about what life will be like!  It's exciting and overwhelming.  Here are some of my thoughts on my upcoming transition:

These have been seven years of growth.  Of maturity.  Of trial and error.  Of trial and success.  Of finding myself.  Of finding Jesus.  Of knowing love.  Of education.  These seven years have been the biggest stretch with the most reward.  Boone for me was (and is) a place of discovery.  I will forever be grateful for the place where I found myself and love found me.  In eight weeks, I'll pack up the rest of my stuff, thank all of my friends and take my discovered self to a place where I can start living out my dreams. 

The past few months have been full of advice.  Don't get me wrong, I love advice.  And in most cases, I asked for it.  I've received encouragement, love, hesitation and warnings - all about what life will be like when I leave.  I'm taking those things to heart but so trusting that what I'm investing in is the chance of a lifetime.  It's not an easy thing.  Giving up a perfectly good job with perfectly good benefits to become nomadic is taking every single bit of faith I have.  Staying focused on the purpose and reminding myself every single day that my dreams are not crazy takes a lot of effort.   Convincing myself that I can still succeed in school after being a few years removed takes daily reminders.  I'm just rooting myself in the belief that it's going to be worth it.  Out of this transition, I'm believing for more wisdom, more influence, more knowledge, more experience and most importantly, I'm believing for more dreams.

You cannot achieve what you want by refusing to risk what you have.  If you save $500 and hide it under your mattress, it can never be $1000.  My pastor has always said "what you have right now will always be the least it can be while it's in your hands."  I'm taking that mantra about money and making it about my life.  I'm investing everything I have into my future and praying the outcome allows me to live out my dream of impacting people in the name of Jesus.

I am taking seven years of discovery to the streets.  This is where knowledge becomes practice.  This is where investment becomes practical.  This is where behind the scenes becomes starring role.  This is just the reality of me, 25 year old me.  I'm figuring out happiness.  I'm figuring out contentment.  I'm figuring out life.  I'm taking what I know, putting it into practice and hoping that practice refines me, teaches me and grows me even more.

I can't help but be excited because I believe with my whole heart that the best is yet to come.




Dad's farm :)

 

Love for the lost.

This world is full of lost people.  I always wonder, how do people who don't know the life-altering transforming love of God make it through life?  I mean, life can be rough.  Bad things happen, people perish, humanly love happens and then unhappens.  We, as humans, have the tendency to let life lead us to a place where we don't even recognize our surroundings.  We are predisposed to becoming lost.  The reassuring thing to me is that though I know on my own I'd be lost, I'm thankful for a God who found me.  But, what about the people who don't know the love that found me in my hours of despair?

Am I doing a good job showing people that love?  I mean I desire to be the kind of person who shows unceasing love to others.  But the reality is that I'm not always on my a-game.  I feel unloved by my family and I shut it down.  I feel frustrated and I shut it down.  I feel annoyed and I shut it down.  The list could go on and on, but my point is that I want to be the kind of person who's heart is so radically transformed by the love of God that I never have the option to stop that love from pouring out of me at all times.

Lost people deserve to benefit from the overflow of love available in the hearts of the found. 

Lately, I've seen and felt God love me in every way possible.  I just found out on Good Friday that I have been accepted into the graduate program I was seeking.  Underserving but loved.  Then, four days later, I received a phone call from the director naming me the fellow for a large charitable foundation in Greensboro.  Just like that, my entire first year of grad school was paid for in full. 

I remember distinctly driving down Rivers Street one night months ago and as I passed the SRC, I remember blurting out loud - "Jesus I believe you for crazy things.  I'm believing that I can go back to grad school 100% debt free."  I prayed for that, and I believed for it, and He did it.  Not because I should have been the recipient of some crazy blessing, but because He loves me. 

So, here's the official annoucement - I'm moving home to Greensboro in August to start a new adventure on the farm with my dad and stepmom.  It'll be different and I'm sure new challenges will arise.  But, I'll be living out a long time dream of pursuing my Master's degree.  And I'll be surrounded with lots of opportunties to love the lost and to bring light and truth to areas where religion has been oppressive.  Pray for me.  I'd really love that.  Leaving Boone, a place that I've made home over the past 7 years, will be hard undoubtedly.  I have come to love this little home of mine, but I know that that which is ahead is bigger and better than anything even my dreams have imagined. 

I have an overwhelming desire to reach the lost in my new season.  People, no matter their circumstances, worldly identities, life choices or family histories deserve to know that victory is theirs.  The truth is that we define ourselves by our circumstances all the time, but God sent his son to die so that WE (yes you & I and all your friends too) could live the abundant life.  I want to encourage you today to think of being Jesus to people.  Show them love and watch them come running.  And open your arms and embrace them like the Father when they do.