The "S" Word

The funny thing about my relationship with the big G-O-D is that it's ever evolving.  I learn more about who He is and who I want to be all the time.  I haven't always known Him.  In fact, I was once confused, insecure, unsure of myself and others, dishonest and disobedient.  And I'm not talking spiritually here, I'm talking about in real honest life.  I'm talking I have another thing coming if/when I ever have to deal with teenagers of my own.  It wasn't until I made my first choice to surrender (the "S" word) that I first heard Him. On the parkway, on a blanket, on a beautiful day.  My twenty year old self sat on that blanket and for the first time, heard the big G speak wisdom to my struggling heart.  If it weren't for that encounter, I wouldn't really know him. 

Webster's says this of that s-word:

sur·ren·der

verb \sə-ˈren-dər\

a: to give (oneself) up into the power of another

b: to give (oneself) over to something (as an influence)

 

Here's the thing (and maybe this is where you're at today):  Transition is hard.  It's not a natural thing to trust everything you have to a God who everyone talks about but you can't see.  It's not easy to give your life over on the hope that what you feel is true actually IS true.  Faith can be such a transient concept in these little lives of ours.  I want to tell you that s-wording your life to let the big G do what he wants to do is harder than hard, even for the most serious and devoted of believers. BUT, I also want to encourage you by saying that s-wording your life over to the all-knowing God enables His purpose to become yours.  It's ultimately fulfilling.  This morning, as my co-workers and I were singing "I Surrender All," I was just hit with this overwhelming peace.  I realized that real true yielding to the holy spirit is easy.  It's you trusting that this life isn't about just you and committing to following your convictions.  It really is "all to Jesus, I surrender (yield), all to Him I FREELY give (on my own volition).  I will ever love and trust Him, in his presence, daily live."

 

Those are some powerful thoughts, ya'll!  I surrender ALL - my fear, my control, my decisions, my safety, my health.  I surrender them all, not because God doesn't want me to enjoy life, but because He's the only one who can direct me to the most abundant life.  I surrender all because His power directs my purpose.  I surrender all because His influence empowers my dreams. 

 

My last post was on normal being boring.  And it definitely is.  I have spent my entire life up until this point not wanting to stick out.  Why do we think that way?  The beautiful thing about life is that we're all different.  My desires and dreams should never be shaped by what others think about them.  Surrendering is beautiful because once we recognize that we're at the mercy of a master's hand, we also realize that our lives are headed in different directions.  All on purpose.  He made us to stand out.  That's how we stay entertained.  If we can learn how to love people through their decisions and really learn how to support their dreams, we'll all be building the Kingdom on earth together.  First, we have to be ok with yielding and letting the creator do what he does best, create.

Redefining Normal

If you're anything like me, you enjoy stability.  I enjoy having a quasi-plan.  I enjoy some level of routine.  Somewhere along the line, I convinced myself that having a "normal" life was in my best interest.  I wanted to live a life where I could do something I liked, provide for myself and occasionally partake in adventures that satisfied my desire to step outside of my comfort zone.  How boring!  Thankfully, one Friday morning last August, Jesus got my attention and told me to redefine my normal. 

I'm reminded of the song "Oceans" by Hillsong.  The first line is - "You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown where feet may fail."  You want to know what is so cool about redefining my normal and walking into the great unknown?  The way God always comes through.  If my feet start failing, it doesn't matter because I'm not in charge of my destiny anyway.  What good is dreaming if we have constant control over every outcome?  I'm giving up all of my security to be vulnerable before a God who always shows up.  Really, it's a win-win for me.  I'm pursuing my dreams, and guys I have NO CLUE what to expect, but I do know that God will show up and lead me.  He's not a wishy-washy, unrelatable God.  He's real!  He's relational!  He knows that I'm scared.   Part of redefining my normal has been learning how to let fear motivate me rather than hold me back.   

 

Let me let you in on a little secret about me -- public speaking terrifies me.  I mean honestly, my emotional reaction prior to speaking is a little excessive.  My heart and mind are always racing a thousand miles a second.  Ironically, everyone who has ever heard me speak in public always tells me how calmly I execute my message.  In my (required) public speaking class in college, my professor told me that I was one of the strongest public speakers he'd ever encountered.  UM, what?!  Come again?? 

The reactions never meet the expectations I've set for myself.  They're way better.  And that's how I know God is in this thing.  His outcome is always exceedingly better.  But first, we have to loosen our grip on our own mediocre expectations and just be obedient.

I made a decision last August to stop living "normally" and to go after my dreams.  No one is going to change my life for me, but me.  I have been completely blown away by God's faithfulness and steadiness over the last 10 months.  He just keeps showing up, working things out and giving me ZERO chance to back out. 

So, here I am, just redefining normal.  Actually, I don't know that I ever really want to have a new "normal."  I kind of just want to let go and see where the Lord leads.  Honestly, it's been so exciting and I cannot wait to see what happens as time progresses. 

God is for you!  He believes in and supports your dreams, and he loves that you're dreaming.  Keep dreaming and don't be afraid to sacrifice your normal to see Him show up. 

Upcoming Transition

My thoughts these days have been mostly consumed by transition.  I keep thinking about what life will be like!  It's exciting and overwhelming.  Here are some of my thoughts on my upcoming transition:

These have been seven years of growth.  Of maturity.  Of trial and error.  Of trial and success.  Of finding myself.  Of finding Jesus.  Of knowing love.  Of education.  These seven years have been the biggest stretch with the most reward.  Boone for me was (and is) a place of discovery.  I will forever be grateful for the place where I found myself and love found me.  In eight weeks, I'll pack up the rest of my stuff, thank all of my friends and take my discovered self to a place where I can start living out my dreams. 

The past few months have been full of advice.  Don't get me wrong, I love advice.  And in most cases, I asked for it.  I've received encouragement, love, hesitation and warnings - all about what life will be like when I leave.  I'm taking those things to heart but so trusting that what I'm investing in is the chance of a lifetime.  It's not an easy thing.  Giving up a perfectly good job with perfectly good benefits to become nomadic is taking every single bit of faith I have.  Staying focused on the purpose and reminding myself every single day that my dreams are not crazy takes a lot of effort.   Convincing myself that I can still succeed in school after being a few years removed takes daily reminders.  I'm just rooting myself in the belief that it's going to be worth it.  Out of this transition, I'm believing for more wisdom, more influence, more knowledge, more experience and most importantly, I'm believing for more dreams.

You cannot achieve what you want by refusing to risk what you have.  If you save $500 and hide it under your mattress, it can never be $1000.  My pastor has always said "what you have right now will always be the least it can be while it's in your hands."  I'm taking that mantra about money and making it about my life.  I'm investing everything I have into my future and praying the outcome allows me to live out my dream of impacting people in the name of Jesus.

I am taking seven years of discovery to the streets.  This is where knowledge becomes practice.  This is where investment becomes practical.  This is where behind the scenes becomes starring role.  This is just the reality of me, 25 year old me.  I'm figuring out happiness.  I'm figuring out contentment.  I'm figuring out life.  I'm taking what I know, putting it into practice and hoping that practice refines me, teaches me and grows me even more.

I can't help but be excited because I believe with my whole heart that the best is yet to come.




Dad's farm :)

 

Love for the lost.

This world is full of lost people.  I always wonder, how do people who don't know the life-altering transforming love of God make it through life?  I mean, life can be rough.  Bad things happen, people perish, humanly love happens and then unhappens.  We, as humans, have the tendency to let life lead us to a place where we don't even recognize our surroundings.  We are predisposed to becoming lost.  The reassuring thing to me is that though I know on my own I'd be lost, I'm thankful for a God who found me.  But, what about the people who don't know the love that found me in my hours of despair?

Am I doing a good job showing people that love?  I mean I desire to be the kind of person who shows unceasing love to others.  But the reality is that I'm not always on my a-game.  I feel unloved by my family and I shut it down.  I feel frustrated and I shut it down.  I feel annoyed and I shut it down.  The list could go on and on, but my point is that I want to be the kind of person who's heart is so radically transformed by the love of God that I never have the option to stop that love from pouring out of me at all times.

Lost people deserve to benefit from the overflow of love available in the hearts of the found. 

Lately, I've seen and felt God love me in every way possible.  I just found out on Good Friday that I have been accepted into the graduate program I was seeking.  Underserving but loved.  Then, four days later, I received a phone call from the director naming me the fellow for a large charitable foundation in Greensboro.  Just like that, my entire first year of grad school was paid for in full. 

I remember distinctly driving down Rivers Street one night months ago and as I passed the SRC, I remember blurting out loud - "Jesus I believe you for crazy things.  I'm believing that I can go back to grad school 100% debt free."  I prayed for that, and I believed for it, and He did it.  Not because I should have been the recipient of some crazy blessing, but because He loves me. 

So, here's the official annoucement - I'm moving home to Greensboro in August to start a new adventure on the farm with my dad and stepmom.  It'll be different and I'm sure new challenges will arise.  But, I'll be living out a long time dream of pursuing my Master's degree.  And I'll be surrounded with lots of opportunties to love the lost and to bring light and truth to areas where religion has been oppressive.  Pray for me.  I'd really love that.  Leaving Boone, a place that I've made home over the past 7 years, will be hard undoubtedly.  I have come to love this little home of mine, but I know that that which is ahead is bigger and better than anything even my dreams have imagined. 

I have an overwhelming desire to reach the lost in my new season.  People, no matter their circumstances, worldly identities, life choices or family histories deserve to know that victory is theirs.  The truth is that we define ourselves by our circumstances all the time, but God sent his son to die so that WE (yes you & I and all your friends too) could live the abundant life.  I want to encourage you today to think of being Jesus to people.  Show them love and watch them come running.  And open your arms and embrace them like the Father when they do.

Jesus is still for you!

I've spent some time in this season thinking about what in the world I'm doing with my life.  I still don't know the answer -- BUT I do know this:  Jesus is still for me and he's for you too!  In fact, he never stopped being for us...even when we haven't been for him. 

I think about the incredible amount of courage, boldness and faith it takes to tell somebody about the real truth of Jesus.  About how the Holy Spirit is really just the power of God that was in Jesus transferred to you.  Let that sentence sink in...you have the power of God in its fullness that was in Jesus on the inside of you.  So yes, you can lay hands on the sick and see them recover.  Yes, you can believe in faith for miracles to happen and see them happen.  Yes, you can proclaim with boldness the vision of the Lord for someone else's life.  The answer is now and always has been YES, because the promises of God are yes and amen. 

As believers today, we've really moved away from using the power of God to transform lives.  I don't think we intentionally decided one day that the power of God wasn't for us, but rather, I think we actually believe that the power of God isn't inside of us!  That is seriously not true.  The Bible says that as believers we will do the same works as Jesus and even greater works (John 14:12).  If God believes in us to carry out the power of Jesus on the earth, He is still for us today just like he was for Jesus many years ago. 

I've spent a lot of years thinking that ministry was about telling people how they needed to straighten up and "get right for Jesus," and while I believe that I was mostly doing it out of love and concern, I also think I was taking the wrong approach.  I've learned in this life season that ministry is all about loving and serving people the way Jesus would have.  If the power of Jesus is active on the inside of me, then touching people's lives should be easy, it should be intentional and it should be out of a heart that has no other motive but love. 

In the Kingdom, there isn't a place for weariness, hopelessness, discouragement, fear, hatred or any other thing of the like.  In the Kingdom, grace and love are available in abundance.  Forgiveness and preferring others over yourself are natural.  The Kingdom of Heaven is here and it's now and we, the believers, are the people who carry out the Kingdom vision.

As challenging as you think embracing the Kingdom will be, it's actually easier than you think.  It's encouraging to carry that vision, see it manifest and watch as people's lives are radically transformed at the presence of Jesus.  It's amazing to watch as people realize that this Jesus guy is really who the word of God says he is.  We won't reach this nation or any other nation by professing Jesus and living for ourselves.  Nor will we reach this nation or any other nation by trying to fit Jesus into some religious subsect of Christianity.  We are the commissioned ambassadors of Christ, set to run the race as he did and transform lives as he did.  Our assignment is a bold one and not for the faint of heart, but it's also an assignment of joy and eternal impact. 

I'm excited and encouraged as I learn more about carrying out the vision of the Kingdom and also as I realize that because Jesus is FOR ME, I am unstoppable.

My past doesn't define me, Jesus is for me.
My failed relationships don't define me, Jesus is for me.
Financial lack doesn't define me, Jesus is for me.
Sickness and disease don't define me, Jesus is for me. 
My emotions don't define me, Jesus is for me.

I am not limited.  I am a Kingdom vision carrier.  Jesus is for me.  He's for you.  Let's run boldly together!

Message of urgency

Today, more than ever before, I recognized our grave and significant need for Jesus. Years have passed and horrible life-shaking events have happened. Those events shouldn't be discounted. But there comes a time when enough is enough. Let me be clear: there is ONLY one way that our hearts will be redeemed. There is ONLY one source of compassion. We need grace, for ourselves and for one another. We need love. We need Jesus.

My heart broke today along with many others in this nation to hear about the shooting in Connecticut that claimed the lives of 27 people, some just babies. 20 moms kissed their babies goodnight last night and will never have that chance again. They'll never see high school prom or college or weddings or grandkids. Today those families lost the ultimate gift: life.

If nothing else this should serve as a wake up call. Wake up! Your life is important. Your life has purpose. Today we must commit to stop taking life for granted, to stop acting like we are here on accident. Today we have to commit to finding love for ourselves and for others in whatever way we see fit. Today we must commit to preferring one another above ourselves, to seeing life as the most highly cherished entity and, most importantly, to being kind.

Make no mistake (and hear me loud and clear): God did NOT will for people to die ruthlessly today or any other day. People chose to abandon God. This day doesn't mark an opportunity to be mad at God or to promote your political agenda. Today is a day where we meet as one and find compassion at the deepest root of who we are.

Be Jesus to people. Be love. Be kind. Cling to that which is good. Do right by others and tell the truth. Then, and only then, will we begin to see the world turn from evil. It absolutely starts with me. It absolutely starts with you.

A life that turns the world around is only possible with Jesus. If you don't know Jesus, here's your invitation to ask about the best decision you'll ever make.

A message has never been more urgent and I have never been more serious. We. Need. Jesus.

Be who you are.

Have you ever thought about how plagued we are by the way we speak and how others speak to us?  Honestly and candidly, I get so wrapped up in how people treat me and forget that my hope isn't built on what others say and do.  Why do we think it works that way?  In thinking on what it is that has us so wrapped up in the opinions of others, I realized that our culture has shifted so far away from the Word of God and in turn we expect the instant gratification from others to somehow fulfill our needs.

The truth is that our hope should be built on Jesus -- He should be all the gratification that we need.  Still, I find that I rely entirely too much on my friends to supply all that I need (confidence, joy, comraderie, love, etc...) and entirely too little on what the Lord provides.  The Word sets out a clear path for us to follow in regard to our relationships and friendships and I know that I struggle to follow it. 

^"2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. ³ Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. ⁴ For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. ⁵ There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, ⁶ and one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all." - Ephesians 4:2-6
 

I look at that scripture and see how I have failed at each word.  Humility and gentleness and patience -- all things that I want to be with my whole heart but also areas where I know I struggle.  And, lest you believe that I'm being too hard on myself, I am also encouraged by that passage.  In it I see the grace that the Lord has given that has so fully covered my "humanisms" and kept moving me forward.  In it I see the grace the the Lord has given me when I know a friend is intentionally pushing my buttons because they know I'll be bothered.  In it I see the grace that the Lord has given me when I feel lonely and how he has kept my eyes focused on what lies ahead.  In it I find encouragement to be who I am called to be. 

My message today is this:  Stop worrying about who you are in your flesh.  Truthfully, our flesh will never satisfy us or bring us peace.  All of our peace in found in Jesus.  He's not the author of confusion, He's the author and finisher of our faith and He's perfect.  We don't have to be perfect.  If you're struggling today because you don't feel like people are giving you grace, examine your heart.  Our hearts are the wellspring of life, but they can also be deceitful.  Don't be deceived by your heart, but remember the perfect grace that is alive on the inside of you because of Jesus.

Go in greatness today and be who you are.