therapy.

it's been seriously forever since i've written anything. this year and half (almost) has been one of the best, most amazing, most trying, and most awakening years of my life. it's been one that's been full of growth and development at every single turn. not a second has gone by that i didn't strongly feel like the Lord has had my back, and held my hands, and wanted more than anything for me to grasp how deep and awesome his love it. it's been a journey, but a journey that, although full of frustration, tears, laughter, new friends, old friends, and information (oh my goodness, so much information), has made me so appreciative of all i've been given and the favor that so evidently rests (no not just rests, POURS) over my life.

there are things in life that are just therapeutic. bike riding. writing. the beach. standing on top of a mountain. uncontrollable laughter with those people who mean the most to you. working really hard to achieve a goal and attaining it. and the list could go on and on. therapy for me comes in the most natural things. the things that the lord set apart to be soothing at the moment of their creation. in a season where therapy has been so necessary, i can confidently say that the lord knows exactly what he's doing. he knows what i need and when i need it, and he loves me enough to provide it, every single time. there are so many things about my life that are not perfect, but in his perfect will, he makes them okay. he reassures me with his unfailing and ceaseless outpour of grace and mercy every single day.

when i think about the lord and reflect on all he has done for me, i just smile, or cry (but they're grateful & joyful tears). i don't know what i did when i wasn't trying to live my life for the lord, but thankfully, the lord & his grace reminds me daily that i am now living for him, and that's all i need to know.

my life is good. so good. strength and grace have manifested themselves in me as an inherent product of adversity. i am beyond grateful for struggles, because struggles develop endurance and character, and those things lead to meaningful life. i am so thankful to be in a position to look at adversity and laugh because i know that the lord's strength is behind me, and with him, all things truly are possible. as i look at the list, or plan, that i have for me life, i just want to crumple it up and literally throw it out the window. my life's purpose is the lord's, and my consistent prayer is that he would do with my life what he wants. take me to africa. keep me in boone. make me live in a tent in a field. whatever he wants, i'm going to do, and i'm eagerly listening for directions on the next step.

i'm overwhelmed with joy, because victory is mine. he entrusts me with much so that i might learn much, and i am learning, day by day, i'm learning. i'm learning what it means to be fearless and free. and that is a good feeling.

just praise him, because he's so good.