I think back often on my sweet friend Natalie's bachelorette weekend. It was such a fun time of celebrating her - a person who gives her whole self so that people might know they're loved. What a blessing to have in a friend. This weekend also held a first for me - first time ever almost seriously drowning.
Our weekend adventures included whitewater rafting. Now, if you know me, you know I'm an adventure junkie. I don't often think before I do things. I went through the required pre-rafting prep. I put on my life jacket and my helmet and we headed out. One run down the river - success! Two runs down the river - SUCCESS! And just when I feel like I'm getting the hang of it, on our third run down the river - life-changing. We headed into our first rapid too slowly and the kickback current caught our boat, sending myself and another friend, Kate, flying out of the boat into the water. I did what they told me in the pre-rafting prep, assumed the "human in the whitewater" position and waited for someone to help me. Except it looked more like "fight for your life to stay flipped on your back, water rushing into your face, throwing you up against rocks and filling your lungs rapidly." It was bad. You can guess, probably by the fact that I'm writing this, that I survived. But it was scary. FOR REAL scary. The kind of scary that gives you recurring nightmares about drowning. But then, in the distance, there was my third rescue rope (yes, I missed the first two due to the force of the water). The rope that bailed me out.
This little life happening reminds me so much of the grace of Jesus. Especially on days like today and weeks like this week when I feel like I'm [figuratively] drowning. There's a lot going on in my life - academically, personally, relationally, and a lot of bad news just keeps coming and coming. Life looks a lot like that water to me. Splashing in my face with vehement force, not giving me enough time to catch my breath, overwhelming and overtaking my life. But then there's the rescue rope. The rope that makes its way into the water. I can see it and I can grab it but the water is still super strong. It takes all of my strength to hold on to long enough to reach shore. But then, because of the rope, I can stand up. And, suddenly, the water is beneath my feet. It's here that I can breathe, I can rest, and I can walk forward toward what waits in the distance.
On that day, at the National Whitewater Center, what waited in the distance was the boat. Yep, the same boat the threw me out [that vindictive little boat! :)]. My choice was walk around the river to get back to the top, or to just get back in the boat and ride out the rest of the journey. You probably already knew what choice I made - I got back in the boat. And in life, I choose to get back in the boat. Because I am not afraid of water and I am not a quitter. And the grace of Jesus, though it takes energy to grab onto sometimes, is always there.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
On Community!
Oh hey there, blog world! First and foremost, sorry for the long hiatus from writing. While writing is mostly cathartic for me, I have heard feedback from several people over the last few weeks that they miss my blog. SO, here I am...with a great topic that I hope encourages you!
Have you ever pondered on the true meaning of community? I mean, of course you've thought about what community is and who YOUR community is, I'm sure. But, have you ever considered the implications of community on your everyday life? Confession: when I left Boone last August I was tired in so many ways. And when I get tired, I tend to give myself at about 10% effort. After months and months of reflection, I've come to a few conclusions on community:
Happy Tuesday, friends!
Have you ever pondered on the true meaning of community? I mean, of course you've thought about what community is and who YOUR community is, I'm sure. But, have you ever considered the implications of community on your everyday life? Confession: when I left Boone last August I was tired in so many ways. And when I get tired, I tend to give myself at about 10% effort. After months and months of reflection, I've come to a few conclusions on community:
- Community is totally about who and not necessarily about where. I have lived in Greensboro for 8 months now (wowzers) and have yet to find defineable community here. However, the community that I left in Boone is consistent about keeping up with me and continuing to do life with me from a distance.
- Community will support you, encourage you, love you, AND rebuke you! This was a hard lesson for me. I used to directly equate rebukes, no matter how lovingly they were done, as equal to lack of appreciation and love. Not the truth. Good community will love you AND rebuke you. We can't move forward in maturity if we aren't aware of how to better be who we're called to be.
- Community can be comprised of people you know well and people you don't know well. For example, I used to work at a job where I stationed medical volunteers all over the world. I never got to meet most of them. However, some of those volunteers taught me more about who I am and who the Lord is than people I've been connected to for years. People who believe in you, encourage you, and teach you about grace are also your community, even if you've never actually met them.
- When you feel like giving up - really seriously throwing in the towel - community will keep you in the game. Community is comprised of the people who will not let you quit because they see your destiny while you just see your temporary.
- Your community will let you process and then reel you back in. As an extrovert, I am an external processor. I have externally processed to the wrong people many many times. I always know that I am processing through things with my community when they let me go for a few minutes and then reel me back in and it never compromises our relationship or trust.
Happy Tuesday, friends!
Monday, November 11, 2013
Who's on your squad?
I was in a seminar last week with a really dynamic speaker. She has done a few seminars for my office before so I had heard her, but this time, instead of setting everything up and retreating to my office to knock out some work, I decided to stay in and participate in the session. The topic was avoiding compassion fatigue (i.e. burnout), which is super relevant in all walks of life. This speaker talked about "forming your own squad." She referred to your squad as the people who are in your court, no matter the circumstances. Just like sports teams are made up of athletes who play different positions, so should your squad be. Here's the kind of people your squad should consist of:
This reminded me of the story in Exodus (in the Bible) where Moses was in charge of leading the Israelites to victory. He went to the top of a mountain so he could see over the battle and God promised him that as long as his staff was raised, the Israelites would be winning. The most important thing about this story was that Moses didn't go up on that mountain alone - his team was with him! Aaron and Hur went up with Moses and they held up his arms so that his staff was always raised and the Israelites could win the battle. Moses was human. His arms got tired. The Israelites would have never won had it not been for Aaron and Hur who held up Moses' arms when he couldn't do it on his own. We don't get to see how Aaron and Hur feel about this, but we do see what matters. Aaron and Hur went up with Moses even though his vision and instruction from the Lord seemed a little crazy!
This is a biblical story from thousands of years ago, and yet we see so many common parallels to today. You have to have a team and they have to be willing to track with you through the stuff that matters. They have to believe in your vision no matter how crazy it is. Thank God for friends like Aaron and Hur!
The big takeaway from this lesson for me is that my squad matters! Though life can be somewhat transient and friends come and go, there is definitely an underlying squad. Those people have been there for you and will continue to be present no matter the circumstances. Know your squad, know their role, and invest in them!
- People who listen without advising - less talking, more listening
- People who offer sound advice - you'll know them by their wisdom
- A "fan club" who is always for you - you'll know them by their encouragement
- "Chicken Soup" people - the comforters
- People who move you forward - the bold ones who will tackle awkward issues in order to advance you
This reminded me of the story in Exodus (in the Bible) where Moses was in charge of leading the Israelites to victory. He went to the top of a mountain so he could see over the battle and God promised him that as long as his staff was raised, the Israelites would be winning. The most important thing about this story was that Moses didn't go up on that mountain alone - his team was with him! Aaron and Hur went up with Moses and they held up his arms so that his staff was always raised and the Israelites could win the battle. Moses was human. His arms got tired. The Israelites would have never won had it not been for Aaron and Hur who held up Moses' arms when he couldn't do it on his own. We don't get to see how Aaron and Hur feel about this, but we do see what matters. Aaron and Hur went up with Moses even though his vision and instruction from the Lord seemed a little crazy!
This is a biblical story from thousands of years ago, and yet we see so many common parallels to today. You have to have a team and they have to be willing to track with you through the stuff that matters. They have to believe in your vision no matter how crazy it is. Thank God for friends like Aaron and Hur!
The big takeaway from this lesson for me is that my squad matters! Though life can be somewhat transient and friends come and go, there is definitely an underlying squad. Those people have been there for you and will continue to be present no matter the circumstances. Know your squad, know their role, and invest in them!
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Changing your filter.
"Living the Christian life is about learning to be like Jesus."
We've all heard it, believed it, subscribed to it, idealized it. But, let's get real - what does that sentimental statement even mean? How do we make it reality? Am I doing a good job in my process of learning?
Ideally, I'd love to think that if one were to examine my days they would look liked this: joy, love, patience, kindness, encouragement, courage, boldness, rainbows, sunshine and happiness. But, in reality, this is what most of my days look like in a play by play:
Wake up. Dog needs to go out. She's overly excited that it's morning. I don't want to play. I just want coffee. Try to watch the news, someone else in my household wakes up. They ask questions. I respond with half-words and as little acknowledgement of morning as possible. I wait too long to get in the shower, then rush through my routine. I run out of the house less than satisfied with how I look. I speed all the way to whatever work/class/activity/meeting I have. I participate knowing that I am not as fully prepared as I should be. I hop from meeting to class to office to appointment. I meet with friends. I'm not fully engaged in conversations with friends because my mind is running a million miles an hour. I do school work. I do work work. I wish away the days until Friday. I come back to reality. I finally reach my point of ultimate tiredness. I drive home hastily, mad that someone in front of me is driving slower than I want them to. I get home. The dog is excited to see me. I brush off her excitement because it's late and I make her lay down. I get in my bed. I crash. Wake up. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
The bottom line here is that I lack grace. For myself and for others. Most days, I fail to remember that I'm trying to be like Jesus so that others recognize Him in me.
I dare you to cast all your religious theology aside and to choose to see this next part of this blog through the filter of a God who so loved the world.
Being like Jesus is not about a denomination, a set of rules, being bad and/or good, choosing the right things, doing the right things or saying the right things. It's not about whether you believe in organized religious gatherings or individual meditation. It's not about how stressed you are or are not. It is not about whether or not I give money to people on the street or how many times I deny myself. Learning to be like Jesus is not about how humble of a job I take, how many days in a row I go without buying clothes or how many degrees and letters I have behind my name. Everything I just listed is a byproduct of a world who is seeking to understand the meaning of life.
Being like Jesus is about learning grace. The unmerited, undeserved, uninhibited, and WILD favor of the Kingdom. It rests on me. It rests on you. My only job is making the commitment. Then I leave the rest up to grace.
The reality is that learning to be like Jesus is so not about me. Or you. Or anyone else. Learning to be like Jesus is realizing that you've been empowered the truth and love of the Kingdom. All you have to do is first receive that love and then give out of the abundance available in your heart.
I'm not suggesting that Christianity isn't complex, or that we should dumb it down. I'm not knocking all the years of writing and effort it has taken to hash out theological tenants of faith. I'm not suggesting that we have been stuck in oppression and bondage and need to break free. I'm simply suggesting that if we want to know what it looks like to learn to be like Jesus, we start loving ourselves and others right where we're at. Right where they're at. We need to start seeing our realities through the filter of grace.
Ask Jesus to adjust your reality to one which is filtered through grace. And then get out of your own way. You'll be so glad you did.
We've all heard it, believed it, subscribed to it, idealized it. But, let's get real - what does that sentimental statement even mean? How do we make it reality? Am I doing a good job in my process of learning?
Ideally, I'd love to think that if one were to examine my days they would look liked this: joy, love, patience, kindness, encouragement, courage, boldness, rainbows, sunshine and happiness. But, in reality, this is what most of my days look like in a play by play:
Wake up. Dog needs to go out. She's overly excited that it's morning. I don't want to play. I just want coffee. Try to watch the news, someone else in my household wakes up. They ask questions. I respond with half-words and as little acknowledgement of morning as possible. I wait too long to get in the shower, then rush through my routine. I run out of the house less than satisfied with how I look. I speed all the way to whatever work/class/activity/meeting I have. I participate knowing that I am not as fully prepared as I should be. I hop from meeting to class to office to appointment. I meet with friends. I'm not fully engaged in conversations with friends because my mind is running a million miles an hour. I do school work. I do work work. I wish away the days until Friday. I come back to reality. I finally reach my point of ultimate tiredness. I drive home hastily, mad that someone in front of me is driving slower than I want them to. I get home. The dog is excited to see me. I brush off her excitement because it's late and I make her lay down. I get in my bed. I crash. Wake up. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
The bottom line here is that I lack grace. For myself and for others. Most days, I fail to remember that I'm trying to be like Jesus so that others recognize Him in me.
I dare you to cast all your religious theology aside and to choose to see this next part of this blog through the filter of a God who so loved the world.
Being like Jesus is not about a denomination, a set of rules, being bad and/or good, choosing the right things, doing the right things or saying the right things. It's not about whether you believe in organized religious gatherings or individual meditation. It's not about how stressed you are or are not. It is not about whether or not I give money to people on the street or how many times I deny myself. Learning to be like Jesus is not about how humble of a job I take, how many days in a row I go without buying clothes or how many degrees and letters I have behind my name. Everything I just listed is a byproduct of a world who is seeking to understand the meaning of life.
Being like Jesus is about learning grace. The unmerited, undeserved, uninhibited, and WILD favor of the Kingdom. It rests on me. It rests on you. My only job is making the commitment. Then I leave the rest up to grace.
The reality is that learning to be like Jesus is so not about me. Or you. Or anyone else. Learning to be like Jesus is realizing that you've been empowered the truth and love of the Kingdom. All you have to do is first receive that love and then give out of the abundance available in your heart.
I'm not suggesting that Christianity isn't complex, or that we should dumb it down. I'm not knocking all the years of writing and effort it has taken to hash out theological tenants of faith. I'm not suggesting that we have been stuck in oppression and bondage and need to break free. I'm simply suggesting that if we want to know what it looks like to learn to be like Jesus, we start loving ourselves and others right where we're at. Right where they're at. We need to start seeing our realities through the filter of grace.
Ask Jesus to adjust your reality to one which is filtered through grace. And then get out of your own way. You'll be so glad you did.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Life on purpose
Obviously, the last few months...well, really the last year of my life has been one giant leap of faith and step outside of my comfort zone. Seriously, it blows my mind all the time that I quit my stable, well paying job in a community that I loved to move 2 hours away and start making other things happen in my life. If you're tired of hearing me say this on my blog, I promise I'll stop when I stop being surprised that I did that. But, even through my surprise, I really believe that I had to make the sacrifices to live my life on purpose.
Here's a little background on me that you might not know. Upon graduating undergrad, I had NO CLUE that I wanted to do anything in the nonprofit world. I knew I wanted to stay in Boone a little longer so I was looking for any job that would enable me to do just that. I stumbled upon and into my job at Samaritan's Purse and I am so grateful. That job changed my heart. It stirred up my real passion. It motivated and inspired me to pursue things I never thought I would. I am now pursuing my Masters in nonprofit management because of it. Though working at SP wasn't necessarily on purpose for me, it definitely had purpose for me.
The thing about living life on purpose is that sometimes we stumble into our purpose. I had a friend tell me once that she found her purpose and passion while serving on a short-term mission trip. Prior to that trip, she had no idea that she'd find what she was passionate about through the medium of short-term missions. Sometimes, life hides greater purpose in things we're doing temporarily. While we should probably set out every single day to live intentionally and love people and have grace, the reality is that we are ALL human. Yes, I, just like all of you, get really frustrated when people in front of me are driving slow. Yes, I, just like all of you fight battles with myself every day over really silly things. The truth is, even though I set out to live on purpose daily, I still have to remind myself frequently that purpose can also be in the small, temporary and sometimes mundane assignments of life.
Don't stress over the fact that you are in your mid-twenties, disappointing everyone who thinks you should be married and living life as it comes (I'm preaching to my own self here). I spend a lot of my time worrying about what's to come and I'm actually missing what's happening right now as a result. Living life on purpose includes taking each day, wrought with its own challenges, as it comes. I'm headed in a direction I never thought I would be because I found purpose in something that I regarded as temporary.
Living life on purpose is all about doing what brings you joy and leads you in a direction that satisfies you. We should all realize that the timing on when we find our purpose is flexible and can't be sped up, despite our best efforts. So, go today and live life on purpose! Keep doing what you're doing and walking in the direction of your dreams!
Here's a little background on me that you might not know. Upon graduating undergrad, I had NO CLUE that I wanted to do anything in the nonprofit world. I knew I wanted to stay in Boone a little longer so I was looking for any job that would enable me to do just that. I stumbled upon and into my job at Samaritan's Purse and I am so grateful. That job changed my heart. It stirred up my real passion. It motivated and inspired me to pursue things I never thought I would. I am now pursuing my Masters in nonprofit management because of it. Though working at SP wasn't necessarily on purpose for me, it definitely had purpose for me.
The thing about living life on purpose is that sometimes we stumble into our purpose. I had a friend tell me once that she found her purpose and passion while serving on a short-term mission trip. Prior to that trip, she had no idea that she'd find what she was passionate about through the medium of short-term missions. Sometimes, life hides greater purpose in things we're doing temporarily. While we should probably set out every single day to live intentionally and love people and have grace, the reality is that we are ALL human. Yes, I, just like all of you, get really frustrated when people in front of me are driving slow. Yes, I, just like all of you fight battles with myself every day over really silly things. The truth is, even though I set out to live on purpose daily, I still have to remind myself frequently that purpose can also be in the small, temporary and sometimes mundane assignments of life.
Don't stress over the fact that you are in your mid-twenties, disappointing everyone who thinks you should be married and living life as it comes (I'm preaching to my own self here). I spend a lot of my time worrying about what's to come and I'm actually missing what's happening right now as a result. Living life on purpose includes taking each day, wrought with its own challenges, as it comes. I'm headed in a direction I never thought I would be because I found purpose in something that I regarded as temporary.
Living life on purpose is all about doing what brings you joy and leads you in a direction that satisfies you. We should all realize that the timing on when we find our purpose is flexible and can't be sped up, despite our best efforts. So, go today and live life on purpose! Keep doing what you're doing and walking in the direction of your dreams!
Monday, October 28, 2013
Like well-lit cities
Chances are that you've flown over a major city in your life. I caught the last flight out of Greensboro on Friday night for a fun weekend trip to Washington, D.C. While flying, I noticed something new. Flying at night gives you such a better perspective of what's below. Cities and landscapes look so much cooler, so much more alive when they're lit up. The only reason you can see them below is because they are well-lit.
That really inspired me to think about what it means to be well-lit. I started thinking about all of the things in our lives that drive us. For some of us, a belief that there is something more, some sort of divine intervention drives us. For some of us, passion to be the very best we can be and the very happiest we can be drives us. For some of us, the need to show others that we are 100% capable and worth it drives us. What is it that drives you?
I am very motivated by pursuing my dreams. The thing about dreams though is that they are ever-evolving. For example, I, at one time, had a dream to be a teacher, and now that couldn't be further from the truth. You aren't bound and locked down by your dreams. You are freed up by your dreams. If, over the course of time, a dream completely changes or takes on new direction, that is OK! Dreams give you the freedom to pursue what is best for you, and what is best for you is something that only you can decide. I am also very motivated by what those whom I respect think about my choices. If you know me at all, you know I seek the advice and mentorship of other, more experienced, people often. I believe that there is nothing that compares to hearing the advice of people who love you. Another thing that really motivates me is being able to invest in people. I enjoy what I like to call "deep water friendship." If you can find a friend that will tread the deep water with you, that is a friend worth investing in.
The truth that I learned from flying over a big, well-lit, city this weekend was that light only comes from within when whatever is being lit is in its proper place. Think of it this way: If you plug a lamp into a non-working socket, the lamp will not light up. It is not in the proper place to function correctly. The same is true for us. We have to find what motivates us, what moves us to make a difference, and "plug ourselves in" to those things. No matter the risk, no matter the challenge, no matter the process, being where you want to be and doing what makes you happy is always worth it.
Just like well-lit cities from an airplane, we look so much more alive when we are lit up from that which drives our passion. Go after it today, friends!
For fun, here are some pictures from my weekend (but it was way better than could ever be summed up in pictures). In case you were wondering, this was my first time ever visiting DC and I am now a raving fan.
That really inspired me to think about what it means to be well-lit. I started thinking about all of the things in our lives that drive us. For some of us, a belief that there is something more, some sort of divine intervention drives us. For some of us, passion to be the very best we can be and the very happiest we can be drives us. For some of us, the need to show others that we are 100% capable and worth it drives us. What is it that drives you?
I am very motivated by pursuing my dreams. The thing about dreams though is that they are ever-evolving. For example, I, at one time, had a dream to be a teacher, and now that couldn't be further from the truth. You aren't bound and locked down by your dreams. You are freed up by your dreams. If, over the course of time, a dream completely changes or takes on new direction, that is OK! Dreams give you the freedom to pursue what is best for you, and what is best for you is something that only you can decide. I am also very motivated by what those whom I respect think about my choices. If you know me at all, you know I seek the advice and mentorship of other, more experienced, people often. I believe that there is nothing that compares to hearing the advice of people who love you. Another thing that really motivates me is being able to invest in people. I enjoy what I like to call "deep water friendship." If you can find a friend that will tread the deep water with you, that is a friend worth investing in.
The truth that I learned from flying over a big, well-lit, city this weekend was that light only comes from within when whatever is being lit is in its proper place. Think of it this way: If you plug a lamp into a non-working socket, the lamp will not light up. It is not in the proper place to function correctly. The same is true for us. We have to find what motivates us, what moves us to make a difference, and "plug ourselves in" to those things. No matter the risk, no matter the challenge, no matter the process, being where you want to be and doing what makes you happy is always worth it.
Just like well-lit cities from an airplane, we look so much more alive when we are lit up from that which drives our passion. Go after it today, friends!
For fun, here are some pictures from my weekend (but it was way better than could ever be summed up in pictures). In case you were wondering, this was my first time ever visiting DC and I am now a raving fan.
 |
| Thankful for this sweet friend who constantly supports, advises and encourages my life and dreams. What a gem. |
 |
| Who doesn't love Abe Lincoln?! |
 |
| Even in scaffolding, the monument/reflecting pool is awesome. |
 |
| A shot while leaving the city from the metro ride to the airport. |
Monday, October 7, 2013
Stop trying so hard!
I had a great weekend...some time away for a wedding of a beautiful friend, inside and out. This weekend also involved a lot of downtime waiting for wedding festivities to begin and I had a lot of productive time and time to think. Then, today, I woke up energized and refreshed and ready to hit the ground running on this Monday. My new resolution in life: Stop trying so hard!
This new life mantra is specifically in regard to who I am created to be and where I am going. I was thinking this weekend about how far the Lord had brought me in even just a year's time. To think that I would be back in Greensboro with the unique opportunity to pursue an dream uninhibited was a foreign concept to me a little over a year ago, but every day since I've been here, I have been able to live that dream out and see Jesus unfold greatness right in front of me.
The major challenge in moving to a new place for me has been moving away from a lot of friends and community that I had already established. It has stretched me in many capacities. It has shown me that some relationships were seasonal and it has shown me that I have to stop trying so hard to go back and dwell over my last season. See, here's a reality about me you may not know: I am a control-freak. In every sense of the word. I try to keep my controlling nature at bay outwardly (because I constantly want everyone else to be happy) but in regard to the season I left behind, I have found myself trying to control the outcomes of relationships that are behind me. While I still care deeply about the community I left behind and it is in no way my intention to stop caring about it, I have to keep moving forward. I have to stop worrying (obsessing) over what I could have done better or how things could have been different. I have to stop trying so hard so that I can focus on what's ahead.
You see, control can be like quicksand. It is a never ending cycle that pulls us deeper and deeper and farther away from where we are headed. First, we want to control small things and, eventually, it will take over every activity of our lives. I am learning that being a control-freak doesn't benefit me and it certainly doesn't show the grace of Jesus to others. I need to be willing to follow Jesus one step at a time and to trust that He did not bring me here to drop me off and let me figure out the rest on my own. He is a faithful God, but he is a God that will not be mocked or controlled. I am moving forward and refusing to let my humanly need to control things impede his continued direction over my journey. I am committed to listening more than I ever have been. And, this is a PROCESS. I can't get better at it over a 24 hour period. It takes time and diligence and effort and discomfort, but I am committed.
I wouldn't be blogging about this if i didn't think it had the potential to significantly encourage you readers. I think you can take a lot away from this lesson I'm learning as well. I know of a few things to be 100% true in life; Jesus, the value of human relationship, and that there is joy available in living life to its fullest. If we want opportunities to impact this world for the Kingdom, we have to stop trying so hard to control our circumstances. Opportunities will come without our constant supervision. Right next to you today, maybe in the next office, maybe in the restaurant where you will eat lunch, maybe right within your family are people who need to know how much Jesus loves them. And not in an elementary sunday-school way. They need to know the profound, life-altering love of Jesus. Tell them about it.
Let's take on this challenge together: Stop trying so hard to control our circumstances, stop trying to constantly play it cool, stop trying to impress people because we want their approval, stop only following our dreams if we have every "next step" lined up. Instead, let's look forward instead of back and run hard after what we are created to be. I promise, there are awesome things waiting ahead of you...you just have to be willing to keep on walking forward.
Happy Monday, readers. Have a great day!
This new life mantra is specifically in regard to who I am created to be and where I am going. I was thinking this weekend about how far the Lord had brought me in even just a year's time. To think that I would be back in Greensboro with the unique opportunity to pursue an dream uninhibited was a foreign concept to me a little over a year ago, but every day since I've been here, I have been able to live that dream out and see Jesus unfold greatness right in front of me.
The major challenge in moving to a new place for me has been moving away from a lot of friends and community that I had already established. It has stretched me in many capacities. It has shown me that some relationships were seasonal and it has shown me that I have to stop trying so hard to go back and dwell over my last season. See, here's a reality about me you may not know: I am a control-freak. In every sense of the word. I try to keep my controlling nature at bay outwardly (because I constantly want everyone else to be happy) but in regard to the season I left behind, I have found myself trying to control the outcomes of relationships that are behind me. While I still care deeply about the community I left behind and it is in no way my intention to stop caring about it, I have to keep moving forward. I have to stop worrying (
You see, control can be like quicksand. It is a never ending cycle that pulls us deeper and deeper and farther away from where we are headed. First, we want to control small things and, eventually, it will take over every activity of our lives. I am learning that being a control-freak doesn't benefit me and it certainly doesn't show the grace of Jesus to others. I need to be willing to follow Jesus one step at a time and to trust that He did not bring me here to drop me off and let me figure out the rest on my own. He is a faithful God, but he is a God that will not be mocked or controlled. I am moving forward and refusing to let my humanly need to control things impede his continued direction over my journey. I am committed to listening more than I ever have been. And, this is a PROCESS. I can't get better at it over a 24 hour period. It takes time and diligence and effort and discomfort, but I am committed.
I wouldn't be blogging about this if i didn't think it had the potential to significantly encourage you readers. I think you can take a lot away from this lesson I'm learning as well. I know of a few things to be 100% true in life; Jesus, the value of human relationship, and that there is joy available in living life to its fullest. If we want opportunities to impact this world for the Kingdom, we have to stop trying so hard to control our circumstances. Opportunities will come without our constant supervision. Right next to you today, maybe in the next office, maybe in the restaurant where you will eat lunch, maybe right within your family are people who need to know how much Jesus loves them. And not in an elementary sunday-school way. They need to know the profound, life-altering love of Jesus. Tell them about it.
Let's take on this challenge together: Stop trying so hard to control our circumstances, stop trying to constantly play it cool, stop trying to impress people because we want their approval, stop only following our dreams if we have every "next step" lined up. Instead, let's look forward instead of back and run hard after what we are created to be. I promise, there are awesome things waiting ahead of you...you just have to be willing to keep on walking forward.
Happy Monday, readers. Have a great day!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)