Who's on your squad?

I was in a seminar last week with a really dynamic speaker.  She has done a few seminars for my office before so I had heard her, but this time, instead of setting everything up and retreating to my office to knock out some work, I decided to stay in and participate in the session.  The topic was avoiding compassion fatigue (i.e. burnout), which is super relevant in all walks of life.  This speaker talked about "forming your own squad."  She referred to your squad as the people who are in your court, no matter the circumstances.  Just like sports teams are made up of athletes who play different positions, so should your squad be.  Here's the kind of people your squad should consist of:

• People who listen without advising - less talking, more listening
• People who offer sound advice - you'll know them by their wisdom
• A "fan club" who is always for you - you'll know them by their encouragement
• "Chicken Soup" people - the comforters
• People who move you forward - the bold ones who will tackle awkward issues in order to advance you

This portion of the presentation just stuck with me.  I started thinking about how important it is that you have people who are on your team!  In life, I try to be on many people's teams, but the reality is that you can't be on 100 teams.  You need to know who's team you are really on and you need to know who is really on your team!

This reminded me of the story in Exodus (in the Bible) where Moses was in charge of leading the Israelites to victory.  He went to the top of a mountain so he could see over the battle and God promised him that as long as his staff was raised, the Israelites would be winning.  The most important thing about this story was that Moses didn't go up on that mountain alone - his team was with him!  Aaron and Hur went up with Moses and they held up his arms so that his staff was always raised and the Israelites could win the battle.  Moses was human.  His arms got tired.  The Israelites would have never won had it not been for Aaron and Hur who held up Moses' arms when he couldn't do it on his own.  We don't get to see how Aaron and Hur feel about this, but we do see what matters.  Aaron and Hur went up with Moses even though his vision and instruction from the Lord seemed a little crazy!

This is a biblical story from thousands of years ago, and yet we see so many common parallels to today.  You have to have a team and they have to be willing to track with you through the stuff that matters.  They have to believe in your vision no matter how crazy it is.  Thank God for friends like Aaron and Hur!

The big takeaway from this lesson for me is that my squad matters!  Though life can be somewhat transient and friends come and go, there is definitely an underlying squad.  Those people have been there for you and will continue to be present no matter the circumstances.  Know your squad, know their role, and invest in them! 

Changing your filter.

"Living the Christian life is about learning to be like Jesus."

We've all heard it, believed it, subscribed to it, idealized it.  But, let's get real - what does that sentimental statement even mean?  How do we make it reality?  Am I doing a good job in my process of learning?  

Ideally, I'd love to think that if one were to examine my days they would look liked this:  joy, love, patience, kindness, encouragement, courage, boldness, rainbows, sunshine and happiness.  But, in reality, this is what most of my days look like in a play by play:

Wake up.  Dog needs to go out.  She's overly excited that it's morning.  I don't want to play.  I just want coffee.  Try to watch the news, someone else in my household wakes up.  They ask questions.  I respond with half-words and as little acknowledgement of morning as possible.  I wait too long to get in the shower, then rush through my routine.  I run out of the house less than satisfied with how I look.  I speed all the way to whatever work/class/activity/meeting I have.  I participate knowing that I am not as fully prepared as I should be.  I hop from meeting to class to office to appointment.  I meet with friends.  I'm not fully engaged in conversations with friends because my mind is running a million miles an hour.  I do school work.  I do work work.  I wish away the days until Friday.  I come back to reality.  I finally reach my point of ultimate tiredness.  I drive home hastily, mad that someone in front of me is driving slower than I want them to.  I get home.  The dog is excited to see me.  I brush off her excitement because it's late and I make her lay down.  I get in my bed.  I crash.  Wake up.  Wash.  Rinse.  Repeat. 

The bottom line here is that I lack grace.  For myself and for others.  Most days, I fail to remember that I'm trying to be like Jesus so that others recognize Him in me.  

I dare you to cast all your religious theology aside and to choose to see this next part of this blog through the filter of a God who so loved the world. 

Being like Jesus is not about a denomination, a set of rules, being bad and/or good, choosing the right things, doing the right things or saying the right things.  It's not about whether you believe in organized religious gatherings or individual meditation.  It's not about how stressed you are or are not.  It is not about whether or not I give money to people on the street or how many times I deny myself.  Learning to be like Jesus is not about how humble of a job I take, how many days in a row I go without buying clothes or how many degrees and letters I have behind my name.  Everything I just listed is a byproduct of a world who is seeking to understand the meaning of life.

Being like Jesus is about learning grace.  The unmerited, undeserved, uninhibited, and WILD favor of the Kingdom.  It rests on me.  It rests on you.  My only job is making the commitment.  Then I leave the rest up to grace.  

The reality is that learning to be like Jesus is so not about me.  Or you.  Or anyone else.  Learning to be like Jesus is realizing that you've been empowered the truth and love of the Kingdom.  All you have to do is first receive that love and then give out of the abundance available in your heart. 

I'm not suggesting that Christianity isn't complex, or that we should dumb it down.  I'm not knocking all the years of writing and effort it has taken to hash out theological tenants of faith.  I'm not suggesting that we have been stuck in oppression and bondage and need to break free.  I'm simply suggesting that if we want to know what it looks like to learn to be like Jesus, we start loving ourselves and others right where we're at.  Right where they're at.  We need to start seeing our realities through the filter of grace.

Ask Jesus to adjust your reality to one which is filtered through grace.  And then get out of your own way.  You'll be so glad you did. 

Life on purpose

Obviously, the last few months...well, really the last year of my life has been one giant leap of faith and step outside of my comfort zone.  Seriously, it blows my mind all the time that I quit my stable, well paying job in a community that I loved to move 2 hours away and start making other things happen in my life.  If you're tired of hearing me say this on my blog, I promise I'll stop when I stop being surprised that I did that.  But, even through my surprise, I really believe that I had to make the sacrifices to live my life on purpose.

Here's a little background on me that you might not know.  Upon graduating undergrad, I had NO CLUE that I wanted to do anything in the nonprofit world.  I knew I wanted to stay in Boone a little longer so I was looking for any job that would enable me to do just that.  I stumbled upon and into my job at Samaritan's Purse and I am so grateful.  That job changed my heart.  It stirred up my real passion.  It motivated and inspired me to pursue things I never thought I would.  I am now pursuing my Masters in nonprofit management because of it.  Though working at SP wasn't necessarily on purpose for me, it definitely had purpose for me.

The thing about living life on purpose is that sometimes we stumble into our purpose.  I had a friend tell me once that she found her purpose and passion while serving on a short-term mission trip.  Prior to that trip, she had no idea that she'd find what she was passionate about through the medium of short-term missions.  Sometimes, life hides greater purpose in things we're doing temporarily.  While we should probably set out every single day to live intentionally and love people and have grace, the reality is that we are ALL human.  Yes, I, just like all of you, get really frustrated when people in front of me are driving slow.  Yes, I, just like all of you fight battles with myself every day over really silly things.  The truth is, even though I set out to live on purpose daily, I still have to remind myself frequently that purpose can also be in the small, temporary and sometimes mundane assignments of life.

Don't stress over the fact that you are in your mid-twenties, disappointing everyone who thinks you should be married and living life as it comes (I'm preaching to my own self here).  I spend a lot of my time worrying about what's to come and I'm actually missing what's happening right now as a result.  Living life on purpose includes taking each day, wrought with its own challenges, as it comes.   I'm headed in a direction I never thought I would be because I found purpose in something that I regarded as temporary.

Living life on purpose is all about doing what brings you joy and leads you in a direction that satisfies you.  We should all realize that the timing on when we find our purpose is flexible and can't be sped up, despite our best efforts.  So, go today and live life on purpose!  Keep doing what you're doing and walking in the direction of your dreams!

Like well-lit cities

Chances are that you've flown over a major city in your life.  I caught the last flight out of Greensboro on Friday night for a fun weekend trip to Washington, D.C.  While flying, I noticed something new.  Flying at night gives you such a better perspective of what's below.  Cities and landscapes look so much cooler, so much more alive when they're lit up.  The only reason you can see them below is because they are well-lit.

That really inspired me to think about what it means to be well-lit.  I started thinking about all of the things in our lives that drive us.  For some of us, a belief that there is something more, some sort of divine intervention drives us.  For some of us, passion to be the very best we can be and the very happiest we can be drives us.  For some of us, the need to show others that we are 100% capable and worth it drives us.  What is it that drives you?

I am very motivated by pursuing my dreams.  The thing about dreams though is that they are ever-evolving.  For example, I, at one time, had a dream to be a teacher, and now that couldn't be further from the truth.  You aren't bound and locked down by your dreams.  You are freed up by your dreams.  If, over the course of time, a dream completely changes or takes on new direction, that is OK!  Dreams give you the freedom to pursue what is best for you, and what is best for you is something that only you can decide.  I am also very motivated by what those whom I respect think about my choices.  If you know me at all, you know I seek the advice and mentorship of other, more experienced, people often.  I believe that there is nothing that compares to hearing the advice of people who love you.  Another thing that really motivates me is being able to invest in people.  I enjoy what I like to call "deep water friendship."  If you can find a friend that will tread the deep water with you, that is a friend worth investing in.   

The truth that I learned from flying over a big, well-lit, city this weekend was that light only comes from within when whatever is being lit is in its proper place.  Think of it this way:  If you plug a lamp into a non-working socket, the lamp will not light up.  It is not in the proper place to function correctly.  The same is true for us.  We have to find what motivates us, what moves us to make a difference, and "plug ourselves in" to those things.  No matter the risk, no matter the challenge, no matter the process, being where you want to be and doing what makes you happy is always worth it. 

Just like well-lit cities from an airplane, we look so much more alive when we are lit up from that which drives our passion.  Go after it today, friends!

For fun, here are some pictures from my weekend (but it was way better than could ever be summed up in pictures).  In case you were wondering, this was my first time ever visiting DC and I am now a raving fan.

Thankful for this sweet friend who constantly supports, advises and encourages my life and dreams.  What a gem.

Who doesn't love Abe Lincoln?!

Even in scaffolding, the monument/reflecting pool is awesome. 

A shot while leaving the city from the metro ride to the airport.

Stop trying so hard!

I had a great weekend...some time away for a wedding of a beautiful friend, inside and out.  This weekend also involved a lot of downtime waiting for wedding festivities to begin and I had a lot of productive time and time to think.  Then, today, I woke up energized and refreshed and ready to hit the ground running on this Monday.  My new resolution in life:  Stop trying so hard!

This new life mantra is specifically in regard to who I am created to be and where I am going.  I was thinking this weekend about how far the Lord had brought me in even just a year's time.  To think that I would be back in Greensboro with the unique opportunity to pursue an dream uninhibited was a foreign concept to me a little over a year ago, but every day since I've been here, I have been able to live that dream out and see Jesus unfold greatness right in front of me. 

The major challenge in moving to a new place for me has been moving away from a lot of friends and community that I had already established.  It has stretched me in many capacities.  It has shown me that some relationships were seasonal and it has shown me that I have to stop trying so hard to go back and dwell over my last season.  See, here's a reality about me you may not know:  I am a control-freak.  In every sense of the word.  I try to keep my controlling nature at bay outwardly (because I constantly want everyone else to be happy) but in regard to the season I left behind, I have found myself trying to control the outcomes of relationships that are behind me.  While I still care deeply about the community I left behind and it is in no way my intention to stop caring about it, I have to keep moving forward.  I have to stop worrying (obsessing) over what I could have done better or how things could have been different.  I have to stop trying so hard so that I can focus on what's ahead.

You see, control can be like quicksand.  It is a never ending cycle that pulls us deeper and deeper and farther away from where we are headed.  First, we want to control small things and, eventually, it will take over every activity of our lives.  I am learning that being a control-freak doesn't benefit me and it certainly doesn't show the grace of Jesus to others.  I need to be willing to follow Jesus one step at a time and to trust that He did not bring me here to drop me off and let me figure out the rest on my own.  He is a faithful God, but he is a God that will not be mocked or controlled.  I am moving forward and refusing to let my humanly need to control things impede his continued direction over my journey.  I am committed to listening more than I ever have been.   And, this is a PROCESS.  I can't get better at it over a 24 hour period.   It takes time and diligence and effort and discomfort, but I am committed.

I wouldn't be blogging about this if i didn't think it had the potential to significantly encourage you readers.  I think you can take a lot away from this lesson I'm learning as well.  I know of a few things to be 100% true in life; Jesus, the value of human relationship, and that there is joy available in living life to its fullest.  If we want opportunities to impact this world for the Kingdom, we have to stop trying so hard to control our circumstances.  Opportunities will come without our constant supervision.  Right next to you today, maybe in the next office, maybe in the restaurant where you will eat lunch, maybe right within your family are people who need to know how much Jesus loves them.  And not in an elementary sunday-school way.  They need to know the profound, life-altering love of Jesus.  Tell them about it.

Let's take on this challenge together:  Stop trying so hard to control our circumstances, stop trying to constantly play it cool, stop trying to impress people because we want their approval, stop only following our dreams if we have every "next step" lined up.  Instead, let's look forward instead of back and run hard after what we are created to be.  I promise, there are awesome things waiting ahead of you...you just have to be willing to keep on walking forward.

Happy Monday, readers.  Have a great day!

louder than a lion

Woke up this morning to an unexpected day off...I'll take it!  My car's been needing some work for a long time so I chose to use this day off to take care of my little orange bolt!  Which, for me, means sitting for a very long time in the AAA customer lounge.  As I was sitting here, I just started thinking about the topic of courage.

You might probably guess that I was thinking Biblical courage.  I'm going to have to be honest and tell you that, no, my thoughts on courage today are actually brought to you by Katy Perry.  Let me start from the beginning...

A few months ago I really just thought of Katy Perry as another teen pop star who would probably wear out after a couple of years.  Then a friend of mine suggested I watch her documentary because it would really make me appreciate her more.  My thoughts about that suggestion were "she kissed a girl and she liked it" and she's "hot or she's cold", what else could there be?  Since I had nothing better to do, I actually watched the documentary...and it really did change my perspective on dear Katy (and I also cried...hard). 

The overarching theme throughout this entire documentary was courage.  Katy's life was a life marked by courage (go watch the documentary yourself, you'll see).  It reminded me of this simple truth: I, too, want to live a life that is marked by courage.  

So what classifies a life marked by courage?  Is courage just simple bravery?  Is it standing up for what's right in the face of adversity?  Is it taking risks in the sheer belief that the outcome is worth it?  In my reflection on what it means to be courageous, I've come up with this:  Courage is believing that life is meant to be fulfilling.  It's looking fear in the eye and telling it "no way, you have no place here."  It's being confident in what your calling is and also being willing to follow hard after your calling.  It's knowing that sometimes you're going to have to travel off the path and think outside the box to achieve your dreams.  The life marked by courage is a life lived in ambition, determination, generosity and love.  

When I say I want to live a life marked by courage, I want people to look at me and think all those things.  And even if others don't yet recognize it, I want to live in the confidence that I am following hard after a strong and courageous life.  

Life in abundance as I said yesterday is forsaking normal.  Today I am adding in that life in abundance is life marked by courage.  

Today I'm taking some motivation from Katy Perry:

I've got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire

Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR

Louder, louder than a lion

Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR.

Let the world hear you ROAR today and live the life marked by courage!

the realities of a new adventure

I grew up in Greensboro.  Went to high school here, loved this city before and enjoyed coming home for breaks during college.  Moving back for this new life adventure has been an adjustment to say the least.  It's almost like I don't really have any of the same connections as I did before and my experiences have been very different.  So, this last month has been a lot of learning and trying new things and meeting new people and going new places all in hopes that soon I will establish community and routine here.  Here are some of the things I have learned over the last month:

1.  Graduate school is a whole different beast than undergrad.

Arriving at Appalachian as an 18 year old baby undergrad student was overwhelming, I'm sure.  I don't really remember how or why but I know that I developed a lot of friendships quickly.  They throw you into a dorm and you are forced to be with people you don't know until you know them.  Class work is challenging but very doable and cramming, in some instances, works.  Grad school is the complete opposite of all of those things.  I just drive to campus when I have classes and work so building relationships with people in my program has been a little slow.  There is so much reading and work that if I get 3/4 of it done in a timely manner I am really happy.  And cramming?  There are no tests!  Only research paper after research paper.  If you aren't prepared, it's on you.  100%.  There are no excuses, only preparedness.  After all, I am here to become a MASTER at something.  You don't become a master at something by only completing the process halfway. 

2.  Leaving a place you call home, even if you feel ready, is really, REALLY hard.

I've seen the effects of this more as time has gone on.  Every single day I miss Boone and friends and my church and normalcy and all things from that home.  BUT, I am blessed to be here and don't want this to come across as me being ungrateful.  I fully realize that I am here for a reason...I am still discovering that reason.  Missing people in the process has been really challenging but processes take time.  Familiarity takes time.

3.  Living with your parents in your mid-twenties can be a big blessing.

I know what you're thinking...NO WAY, not me!  I thought that too.  Until I actually moved back home.  Living at home is the single biggest blessing in this season.  It has reduced my financial burden tremendously and given me an opportunity to repair relationships that were really broken.  This situation has been a constant reminder that Jesus is FULLY at work in this transition.

4.  God is faithful to provide for us, even down to the smallest detail.

Guys, I prayed when I was just considering grad school to be able to do it completely debt free.  Not only has that happened, but I actually received a refund off of my scholarship.  A few friends said, wow that is unheard of!  I maintain that it's not unheard of because I asked God for it and he faithfully provided every single thing I needed and even more in abundance.

5.  Forsaking normalcy leads to abundant life.

My normal life even just a month ago was pretty great.  It was comfortable and familiar and full of a lot of love.  I was spiritually challenged and encouraged on the regular.   But I will tell you, in reality, as soon as I gave up what was normal and took a step in obedience, I began to see what it was like to live above normal and in abundance.  Every single person on earth has a calling.  Seeking after your calling and achieving your dreams along the way is the definition of the abundant life.  Abundant life means taking risks, sometimes not knowing what is around the corner, and putting EVERYTHING aside for the sake of what you are going after.  It is not easy, but it is a real blessing.

Finally, I found a great church here and have been attending their "get to know you" classes if you will.  This week, the lady leading said something that really reminded me why I am here.  She said:

Everything outside of hell is grace.

What a relevant reminder!  These days might not be the easiest of my life, but they are chocked full of the grace of Jesus.  And I would not rather reside anywhere else but in the grace that saved me.  

I am thankful to be here where every day is an opportunity to learn something new.  Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement.  Love to you all!